How to Make Up Your Mind to Succeed

Mind-set is key to finding success for yourself and your children

Well-intentioned parents have unwittingly left their kids defenseless against failure. The current generation of millennials (born between 1980 and 2001) grew up playing sports where scores and performance were downplayed because "everyone's a winner." And their report cards had more positive spin than an AIG press release. As a result, Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck, PhD, calls them the "overpraised generation." Fortunately, once you understand the situation, there's some quick corrective action that can be taken. And even if you're well past your child-rearing years, her advice will help you better withstand setbacks.

Dweck has been studying how people handle failure for 40 years. Her research has led her to identify two distinct mind-sets that dramatically influence how we react to it. Here's how they work:

A fixed mind-set is grounded in the belief that talent is genetic--you're a born artist, point guard, or numbers person. The fixed mind-set believes it's entitled to success without much effort and regards failure as a personal affront. When things get tough, it's quick to blame, withdraw, lie, and even avoid future challenge or risk.

Conversely, a growth mind-set assumes that no talent is entirely heaven-sent and that effort and learning make everything possible. Because the ego isn't on the line as much, the growth mind-set sees failure as opportunity rather than insult. When challenged, it's quick to reassess, adjust, and try again. In fact, it relishes this process.

We are all born with growth mind-sets. (Otherwise, we wouldn't be able to survive in the world.) But parents, coaches, and teachers often push us into fixed mind-sets by rewarding certain behaviors and misdirecting praise. Dweck's book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, and online instructional program, brainology.us, explain this in depth. But she says there are many little things you can start doing today to guarantee that your kids, grandkids, and even you never get derailed by failure.

FOR KIDS

In school

Never compliment a child by saying "You're so smart" or "You picked that up so quickly." Instead, praise effort or strategy by saying "That was clever of you to take that approach" or "I'm proud of your persistence." Listen for similar remarks from teachers and correct them.

In sports

Instead of "You're a natural," say "Practice is really making you better." Instead of inquiring "Did you win?" ask "Did you give your best effort?" Explains Dweck, "Talent isn't passed down in the genes; it's passed down in the mind-set."

At the dinner table

Instead of the standard "How was your day?" (which everyone dreads anyway), ask "What did you learn today?" or "What mistakes did you make that taught you something?" Describe with zeal something you're struggling with. "Instill a passion for learning," says Dweck.

In making plans for the future

Don't just ask about goals; ask about the plan for reaching those goals.

In frustration

Don't permit children to refer to themselves as losers, failures, stupid, or clumsy. "Never let failure progress from an action to an identity," says Dweck. Likewise, don't label your kids. Don't say this one is the artist, and this one is the computer geek. Anyone can be anything.

In doubt

If you encounter skepticism, ask the child to think of areas in which she once had low ability and now excels, or to recall a time when she saw someone learn something or improve in ways not thought possible.

FOR YOU

At work

Instead of letting salary, benefits, and status define job satisfaction, ask yourself if you're still learning. If the answer is yes, then you're fortunate to have a job that encourages a growth mind-set. View its challenges as opportunities rather than stress. If you've stopped learning, then consider looking either for new avenues of growth or for another job.

In relationships

Blame never resolves anything. It's merely the fixed mind-set insisting that you're right. The next time you're tempted to blame, says Dweck, remember that "the whole point of marriage is to encourage each other's development."

When feeling down

People who are depressed tend to believe that's just the way they are. Instead of viewing yourself as a failed end product, think of yourself as a temporarily derailed work in progress. "We usually think of personality as something very stable," says Dweck, "but we're finding that even core parts of it can be changed by shifting mind-sets."

The Tragic Obsessions of a Tycoon

The Tragic Obsessions of a Tycoon

Legendary aviator and movie mogul Howard Hughes could afford anything he wanted. Yet he spent the last quarter of his life as a recluse, addicted to drugs and teetering on the brink of insanity.

Born on December 24, 1905, in Houston, Texas, Howard Hughes learned from an early age that money talks. His millionaire father owned the Hughes Tool company, which manufactured equipment for the oil industry and he had a comfortable childhood.

Yet Hughes never graduated from high school and was only able to attend classes at the California Institute of Technology because his father gave a generous endowment to the Institute. Hughes returned to Texas and enrolled at the Rice Institute in Houston, but when he was 18 his father died – and he left without his degree.

His father’s will decreed that Hughes was to take over the Hughes Tool Company at the age of 21. But after having himself declared to be of legal majority, Hughes appointed former racing driver Noah Dietrich as the company’s head of finance. It was a stroke of genius; over the next few years, Dietrich was instrumental in driving the company’s prosperity.

Movies and women

Besotted by the burgeoning movie industry, in 1925 Hughes went to Hollywood. He produced three films, then turned to writing and directing. In his first film, Hell’s Angels, the largest private airforce in the world was used to re-create aerial dogfights from the First World War.

Two of his later films tested the limits of public morality. Scarface (1932) was censored because of its violence and Hughes had to sue to allow its release. The Outlaw (1941) was controversial for its sexually explicit advertising and content, featuring a sensational décolletage worn by its star Jane Russell. Hughes had used his engineering expertise to create the half-cup bra modelled by Russell.

In 1948 Hughes took over the RKO studio. During the McCarthy era, as Hollywood was investigated for its supposedly pro-communist leanings, he was staunchly anti-communist. The studio was closed for six months while the politics of his employees were investigated – and completed pictures were re-shot if Hughes felt that their anti-communist politics weren’t sufficiently clear.

Hughes’s affairs with women were legendary. Although married to Ella Rice, a Houston socialite, in 1925, from 1928 he was linked to a string of movie stars: Jean Harlow, Katherine Hepburn, Ava Gardner, Terry Moore, Lana Turner, Rita Hayworth and Janet Leigh. There were also rumours of gay liaisons with a number of actors. He divorced Rice in 1929. In 1957, he married actress Jean Peters, but they divorced in 1970.

Round the world in record time

Towards the end of the 1920s, Hughes acquired a fleet of aircraft. In 1932 he formed the Hughes Aircraft division of the Hughes Tool Company. The firm went on to pioneer many innovations in aerospace technology.

Hughes had acquired his pilot’s licence during the filming of Hell’s Angels. From then on, the most exhilarating hours of his life were spent in the air.

A childhood illness had left him with tinnitus and a continual ringing in his ears. He was too proud to wear a hearing aid, and only in the cockpit of a plane did the ringing cease.

Flying became an obsession. Hughes set a number of world records, often in aeroplanes designed by himself. In 1935 he reached a speed of 350 miles per hour in the H-1 Hughes Racer. In 1938, he flew round the world in 3 days, 19 hours, and 17 minutes.

But in 1946, Hughes was piloting an experimental US Air Force spy plane, the XF-11, when it developed an oil leak. Crash-landing to save the plane, he suffered numerous injuries included a crushed collar bone, six shattered ribs and third-degree burns. Only morphine made the pain bearable and Hughes became dependent on the drug for the rest of his life.

Who Invented the Light Bulb?

Who Invented the Light Bulb?

If you answered Thomas Edison, think again.

At the end of the Civil War in 1865, the reunited states of America entered a new era of commerce and entrepreneurship. Businessmen made their fortunes supplying the vast marketplace of the Midwest with the latest domestic appliances and tools. Lighting was one area in which huge technological strides were made. And with the development of electricity as a reliable power source, a race began in the late 1870s to patent an efficient form of electrical lighting. At the forefront of this contest were two American inventors, Thomas Alva Edison and Hiram Maxim.

Edison was already famous for his invention of the phonograph and various telegraph instruments. But he was at least as much a businessman as he was an inventor. Edison approached investors directly rather than submit himself to the industrialists and their specifications. His experience of developing prototypes of other inventions had made him familiar with the loopholes in patent laws. As a result Edison's usual practice was to patent every advance made by his research team, however small.

Hiram Maxim, on the other hand, was an archetypal inventor - ploughing away, busily working on ideas, but not giving a thought to their commercial potential until after the final "eureka" moment.

In his mid 20s he had invented the first sprinkler system in Boston, only to fail to impress investors of its worth. In 1878 he was hired by Hans Schuyler of the US Electric Lighting Company in New York. As a further incentive, over and beyond his wages of $10 a day, Maxim was due a quarter share in anything he produced for the company. Aware of the inventor's work on gas machine lighting in Massachusetts, Schuyler placed him in charge of operations to produce electric light. Within a year Maxim had installed the first electrical "arc" lighting system in the Equitable Insurance Company building in New York.

Out of the arc

Arc lights worked by building up charge on a carbon rod until an "arc" of electricity crossed to a second rod. With sustained charge build-up, the arc sparked continuously, producing light. Arc lights wasted a great deal of energy and could be dangerous. It became a question of who would be first to find a way to channel current through a filament and sustain it without burnout.

Edison witnessed demonstrations of an early version of an unstable arc light in 1877, and in an interview with the New York Tribune in 1878, announced his intentions to design an incandescent lamp. When asked about the financial rewards of being the first man to make such a product, he replied: "I don't so much care for fortune as I do for getting ahead of the other fellow." He revealed that his platinum wire filament kept melting, and said, "I want to find something better." To help him in this quest, he founded his own fully staffed laboratory, complete with skilled glass blowers.

For all his rhetoric Edison had a lot of ground to make up. By 1878 Hiram Maxim had built a working light bulb using a filament made of carbon inside a bulb filled with gasoline vapour. The bulb stayed lit and did not burn out. Maxim applied for a patent on October 4 "on the principle of preserving and building up carbons in an incandescent lamp". If his application had been successful he would now be recognised as the official inventor of the light bulb. But he was to run into a quagmire of bureaucracy, bitter lawsuits and deliberate obstruction.

Nano - The Next Big Thing

Scientists predict it could have as much of an impact as the industrial revolution did.
Michael Franco

First there was plain old small. The Japanese perfected that with the transistor radio, then the Walkman. Then we had mini - Alex Issigonis shrunk the car down to city-friendly proportions. Next came micro, as Gordon Moore introduced the microprocessor and founded Intel on the strength of it. Now we have gone even smaller: nano.

Derived from the Greek word for "dwarf," nano refers to all things that take place at the sub-microscopic level. The usual measure of length at this level is the nanometre, which equals one one-millionth of a millimetre. That's small - very small

If you shrunk human beings down to this size, you could easily line up every single person on the planet from one side of an average bedroom to the other - with plenty of space left over.So while things at the nanoscale are tiny indeed, many expect the work being done in this field will have a gargantuan an impact on society. Scientists predict it could have as much of an impact as the industrial revolution did. You could almost say small size matters big.

Nanoparticles

Because they can enter and be absorbed by the body more effectively, nanoparticles - which have at least one dimension of less than 10 namometre - are now appearing in a whole host of consumer goods. This includes hairsprays, bug repellents, moisturisers, sunscreens and deodorants. And thanks to a company in China, you can even drink nanoparticles of pulverised leaves in a bottle of nano-tea.

Ironically, the super-absorbability of nanoparticles has consumer watch groups uneasy, and several have called for studies to track the effects of such tiny particles inside the human body.

Sometimes though, the theoretical risks of nanoparticles are outweighed by the tangible benefits. That's certainly the case at the Emory-Georgia Tech Nanotechnology Center where scientists have linked gold nanoparticles to antibodies which are drawn to cancer cells. Once inside the rogue cells, the golden hitchhikers can be beamed with a laser to determine tumour size and location, acting as an early detection system

Other researchers find silver more attractive than gold because of its natural ability to resist and fight bacteria. They're embedding silver nanoparticles into everything from soaps to mobile phones. Pooghe Laundry in the United States has even created germ-resistant nanotech underwear.

And soon, movie-goers might be able to enjoy a ring-free entertainment experience - once the theatre walls are coated in a new nanoparticle paint that blocks mobile phone signals.

Nanofibres

Nanofibres are defined as fibres with diameters less than 100 nanometres, roughly one-thousand times thinner than a human hair.

These liliputian filaments have already woven themselves into our lives in the form of substances like Nano Tex, used by clothing manufacturer Eddie Bauer to keep shirts and pants stain resistant. Researchers at Ohio State University, by treating nanofibres with certain chemicals, can alter their properties to attract or repel various substances like oil. Coating a sheet of glass with such dirt-repelling fibres, which are invisible to the human eye, could mean never having to wash windows again

Nanofibre bandages that would heal wounds faster and fight infection harder than traditional wraps have already been through clinical trials and may be on the market later this year.

And, most significantly, Northwestern University science professor Samuel Stump has just developed a method of restoring the mobility of paralyzed mice. He injects them with a liquid that assembles itself into a nanofibre scaffold along which nerves can grow to repair damaged spinal cords. Which proves once and for all that sometimes, the biggest things really can come in the smallest of packages.

And, most significantly, Northwestern University science professor Samuel Stump has just developed a method of restoring the mobility of paralyzed mice. He injects them with a liquid that assembles itself into a nanofibre scaffold along which nerves can grow to repair damaged spinal cords. Which proves once and for all that sometimes, the biggest things really can come in the smallest of packages.

Buckyballs

If you've ever seen a dome-shaped house, then you have some idea of what a buckyball looks like. These tiny particles are named after the inventor of the geodesic dome home - architect and engineer R. Buckminster Fuller - and are also remarkably similar to traditionally-stitched footballs. Just like their inflated cousins, buckyballs can bounce and spin. But crush one under extreme pressure, and it snaps back into shape when the pressure abates.

What makes buckyballs so tough? The lines that make up their cage-like structures consist of carbon bonds - the strongest molecular bonds found in nature.

Because of their incredible might, researchers at Rice University have figured out a way to use them as mini-crates to store compressed hydrogen. Before this discovery, there was simply no way to compact this potential fuel-of-the-future for efficient storage in a car's gas tank.

Medically, buckyballs are being studied for their sneeze-stifling abilities because they can prevent certain cells from releasing histamine into the body. They're also great free radical sponges and may someday work to soak up these cancer-causing substances in our blood streams.

In a truly futuristic development, buckyballs have been used as the wheels of the world's smallest car which measures just 3x4 nanometres. The hope is that one day small vehicles like this could work as pick-up trucks delivering atoms around molecular-sized nanofactories.

Carbon Nanotubes

If you held a piece of paper on its edge and tried to balance a teacup on it, the results would be obvious, and messy. Roll that paper into a tube however and then put the teacup on it. Voila, you have something very light supporting something relatively heavy.

This is the idea behind carbon nanotubes which are formed by rolling up a sheet of honeycomb-like carbon molecules. The process creates the strongest substance on earth - tiny tubes that are 100 times stronger than steel, yet six times lighter.

Researchers at the University of California have exploited the electricity-producing ability of carbon nanotubes by using them in artificial muscles that can not only repair themselves but can generate enough power through their expansion and contraction to actually charge your iPod.

Nanotubes can also channel sound frequencies and, in fact, one has been used as the world's smallest radio, appropriately broadcasting "Good Vibrations" by the Beach Boys.

Scientists at Rice University and Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in America have even produced a darker colour black by stacking carbon nanotubes on end like bristles on a brush. Because light slips between the tubes and gets swallowed instead of reflected, the colour appears much darker than any black to date. This new material can store energy from light sources, including the sun, and militaries worldwide are interested in its ability to make the "cloak" part of "cloak-and-dagger" even more clandestine.

Discover More:

http://www.nanotechia.co.uk/content/aboutus/

http://www.crnano.org/

http://www.northwestern.edu/newscenter/stories/2008/04/SpinalCordInjury.html

Unfair Advantage

Today’s stealth technology is close to making every warrior’s ultimate goal of being invisible to the enemy a reality. Using plasma clouds, radioactive paints, light-bending cloth and deadly-silent power plants, the prospect of war could turn into a decidedly one-sided proposition.
By Mark Davis

(Stealth technology also known as LO technology (low observable technology) is a sub-discipline of military electronic countermeasures which covers a range of techniques used with aircraft, ships, submarines, and missiles, in order to make them less visible (ideally invisible) to radar, infrared, sonar and other detection methods.)

Barricaded behind the rubble of a shattered village, heavily armed fighters watch as enemy troops pick their way down a distant hillside. It is daytime and the glaring sun can easily play tricks on even the most experienced eyes, but the defenders watch in bewilderment as one by one, the approaching soldiers reach up to their helmets, flip a switch and seem to vanish from sight. Without the slightest warning of any sound, there are suddenly a half dozen helicopters, bristling with weapons, hovering above the encampment like a swarm of deadly insects, soundless and fading in and out of sight behind shimmering waves of heat.

Off balance, unsure where to shoot first, one of the better-hidden fighters takes aim at a still-visible foot soldier. The instant his bullet leaves its barrel, a cluster of geo- metrically arrayed microphones on an approaching vehicle triangulates the shock wave and delivers 3D co- ordinates to a soldier's aiming aid. One shot, threat eliminated.

Sounds far-fetched, but the world's major military powers aren't just dreaming about such systems.

"Take Michael Callahan of the Pen- tagon's Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency. He is tasked with making the futuristic scenario hap- pen today for the US military. "It is my goal to provide our men and women with an unfair advantage over the enemy," he says.

Up in the Air

While military technology co-opted the term "stealth" 40 years ago, the first large-scale attempt to hide armies and weapons goes back to World War II, with the introduction of patterned camouflage uniforms.

"Stealth," as weapons expert Da- vid Hambling puts it, "comes down to not being spotted by whatever is most dangerous to you.

"This is as easy as sticking grass in your helmet for infantry soldiers, but WWII aircraft engineers grap- pled with ways to minimise airframe silhouettes against the daytime sky.

At first they tried painting the underbelly of the airplanes white, or pale blue, to match the sky. They soon realised, however, it was the shadow - not the colour - that made the dark dot in the sky. To get rid of the incriminating shadow, engineers attached fluorescent lights under the fuselage and wings that pilots could dim or brighten to match the time of day. It wasn't perfect, but gave pilots some virtual invisibility.

The quest to make planes invis- ible received an unexpected boost when US space programme scien- tists from NASA noticed that early spacecraft went dead to radar and radio waves upon re-entering the atmosphere. This occurs because the friction heating on re-entry creates a plasma "bubble" around the craft, making it vanish from radar screens. Called plasma aerodynamics, the concept seems right out of an episode of "Star Trek," but several inventors say they have a way to cre- ate "cloaking devices" for real.

One suggestion involves an on- board particle accelerator that zaps the atmosphere immediately in front of the aircraft, laying down "a carpet of invisibility" to fly into.

Another method advocates us- ing an on-board super-conductor magnetic coil to engulf the craft in a radar-absorbing plasma cloud. A third suggestion involves painting warplanes with radioisotopes that would ionise the surrounding atmo- sphere, creating a plasma sheath.

The beauty of flying your airplane in a plasma sheath is that it also sig- nificantly reduces drag, by as much as 3 percent. The one drawback of painting a fighter, bomber or recon- naissance plane with radioactive isotopes is that they will glow in the dark. There is speculation that some of the glowing in the night skies over the notorious "area 51" in the US state of Nevada, widely speculated as being caused by UFOs, might instead have been the result of the US Air Force's top-secret experi- ments using radioactive paint on U-2 spy planes.

Other stealth approaches involve using high-tech materials that could either scatter incoming radar waves, or even switch their wavelengths, thus confusing the trackers by turn- ing the aircraft's radar signature into random noise.

Lost at Sea

The Swedish Navy leads the way to invisibility on the high seas with its corvette-class Visby warship. Made from the same ultra-hard, carbon- fibre material used in Formula One racing cars, the Visby is light and quick and uses less fuel than more conventional ships in its class.

15 Things NOT to Say to Your Boss

15 Things NOT to Say to Your Boss
-By Craig Segal


Are you professional and work-savvy in the office?

Do you know how to work effectively with your superiors?If you’re not sure how to answer, here are 15 tips on what NOT to say to your boss.


Inadvertently, or within a heated conversation, we often say things to the boss that we know we will have second thoughts about on that long walk back to our cubicle.


Maybe we forget that it's the boss we're even talking to, or that bosses have strong powers of recall and that small words can leave lasting impressions. Below we offer sage advice from
Ken Scott, an executive coach with Axmith, a Canadian career-development firm, and Karen Coe of TMP Worldwide Executive Search on what NOT to say to the boss if you want to be around for the company picnic next summer.

It's not my problem.
When a problem in the business or within the team is identified that is not in your direct area but does concern your boss, bring your ideas and capacity to contribute when you can.

Silence.
Saying nothing to the boss is just not helpful. Bosses expect input,information and ideas.

It can't be done or It's always been done this way.
Make an effort to find out how it could be done. Help your boss to better define what he or she is looking for.

Want to know what my boss just did…?
Saying something behind your boss's back that you have not already said to his face invites future trouble should the grapevine make it to his ears.

I'm happy where I am or I'm comfortable.
Often such statements come from folks who are not willing to try a new assignment or in response to, "If you could, what would you change about your job?"

I'm too busy to take new training.
Anyone who wants to succeed needs to continually balance the urgent (what's needed today)with the less urgent (what will be needed in the future).

I need a bigger title.
In today's organizations, contribution and value to the business is not a direct reflection of title. Produce results first. Seek status last.

I don't do overtime.
Professionals who are managing their careers do not count hours but invest in themselves and in training by learning more about the business and the customers. It’s often in the unofficial hours that conversations and information essential to relationships and planning occur.

I only know the people in my department.
No man is an island. It’s essential to know who the key leaders are in the enterprise, their driving philosophies and key measures, and how your team links to them. Everyone has a customer or is serving the customer.

It’s my turn for a promotion.
Entitlement is antique in corporate life. What you contribute, your unique skills and your ability to work with the business at all levels earn advancement.Time in the chair or waiting in line does not count.

Ask someone else.
When you are approached for an opportunity or request, pull together ideas even if you cannot come up with them yourself; be a bridge to the solution, not a stop sign.

I booked my vacation
for those days and cannot change it. Most bosses want to accommodate subordinates with
time off, since fresh and recharged employees do their best work. However the reality today is that companies need flexibility to meet circumstances that do not always fit a personal calendar of preferences, such as mergers, new product releases, etc.

I've got nothing new to report.
Staying too quiet about what you are working on can signal your boss that you are not engaged. Employers appreciate innovation and improvements in efficiency.

Yes, but I was having a bad day.
Making excuses when you're confronted about a mistake only makes you look like a whiner.Own up to a mistake and reassure your boss it won't happen again.

Technology is not my thing.
The world of technological tools and processes that enable us to become more efficient will continue to change the way we all work. Be a willing and proactive learner and be prepared to show others.

Watch your step!

Watch your step!
By William Ecenbarger

It's so easy to give offence when you're abroad
As a world traveller with more than 1,5 million kilometres under my belt, I am acutely aware of the stereotype of Americans abroad - uncultured boors, arriving with prejudices in their baggage, comfortable in a foreign land only when disparaging its inhabitants.

So I go to great lengths not to offend. But it's astounding how often I have failed.

In Marrakech, Morocco, I simply crossed my legs during an interview with a government official. Immediately, a hush descended on the room. A moment later the official suddenly remembered an important appointment and abruptly excused himself.

In Sydney, Australia, I hailed a taxi, opened the door and jumped in the back seat. The driver narrowed his eyes. There was a pause. "Where to, mate?" he finally asked in a voice that could have frosted glass.

In a restaurant in the Indian city of Mumbai (formerly Bombay), all I did was reach for the naan bread. A diner at the next table shot me a look of disgust.

I've even managed to give international cultural offence in my own home. Three Chinese journalists came to stay with me for a weekend as part of their mission to get to know Americans. As they were departing, I presented each of them with what I thought was an appropriate gift - a handsome coffee table book of photographs. They accepted reluctantly, their faces congealed with embarrassment.

IT TOOK years before I realised what was going on.

In each case I had unwittingly committed a faux pas, a social blunder. My only comfort is my ignorance. I take solace in Oscar Wilde's observation that a gentleman is someone who never gives offence unintentionally.

My interview with the Moroccan bureaucrat was cut short because in crossing my legs I showed him the sole of my shoe - a grave affront to Muslims, to whom the foot is the most demeaning part of the human body.

My Australian taxi driver took offence because I sat in the back seat rather than up front next to him. His attitude, widely shared by his compatriots, is an outgrowth of Australia's origin as a British penal colony and the prisoners' dislike of the pretensions of their British overseers.
Reaching for the bread in Mumbai? I did it with my left hand. Indians eat with their hands, and since 90 percent or so of them are right-handed their left hands are reserved for other matters, including after-toilet cleansing. Indeed, even left-handed Indians tend to use their right hand for eating.

And my misstep with my Chinese guests had to do with homonyms: words and phrases that sound alike but mean different things. The Chinese consider books to be inappropriate gifts because in Cantonese the phrase "giving a book" sounds like "delivering defeat". Other poor gift choices for Chinese people are clocks ("giving a clock" sounds like "seeing someone off to his end") and umbrellas ("giving an umbrella" sounds something like "your family will be dispersed").

THERE are many hand gestures that don't travel well either.

The "V" for victory sign was immortalised by the British Prime Minister Winston Churchill in the dark days of the Second World War. The proper form is with the palm facing outward. A simple twist of the wrist puts you in dangerous cultural waters. Throughout Britain (and parts of the British Commonwealth), the palm-in V sign is the equivalent of the middle-digit salute - a calculated insult.

One explanation is that during the Middle Ages, French soldiers would permanently disarm English bowmen by cutting off their index and middle fingers, with which they drew the bowstring. Consequently, the English would celebrate battlefield victories by waving these two digits intact at the defeated French.

Visiting Australia in early 1992, US President George Bush (the elder), offered crowds what he thought was the Churchillian victory sign from his passing limousine. Unfortunately, he had his palm facing in. His gaffe made front-page news the next day. Even one of Churchill's successors, Margaret Thatcher, made the same mistake when celebrating an election victory.

I have done a lot of research on international protocol in my efforts to hone my global good manners. I know that the proper way to exchange a business card in most Asian countries is to give and receive with both hands and to read the other person's carefully before pocketing it, since the card represents the person. But many of the rules come under the heading: How-Could-I-Have-Possibly-Known-That?

For instance, how is a visitor to know that congratulating a prospective mother can backfire in Kenya? It has one of the world's highest infant mortality rates and discussing pregnancy is considered bad luck. Or that wearing a green hat will attract mockery in southern China because it's the sign of a cuckold? Superstition holds that the green-headed tortoise is unable to mate and allows a snake to take its place. Patting someone on the head in Thailand is a major gaffe because the Thais believe the head to be the highest, most sacred part of the body.

Food and drink are another minefield. In Asia, you should never leave your chopsticks upright in your food. As Chin-ning Chu, author of The Asian Mind Game, advises: "In the ceremony to honour the dead, many Asians offer food to their deceased ancestors by placing incense in the bowl and burning it as a way to carry the food to the other world. It is a common Asian superstition that to place your chopsticks in such a way is bad luck and means that this meal is for the dead rather than the living."

When drinking, before the first sip the Czechs like to look their companions in the eye and lightly clink glasses. In nearby Hungary, however, the same gesture can land you deep in the goulash. The clink of beer glasses is considered unpatriotic there because it was once the signal for a coup d'état.

NEVER give four of anything in Japan because the word for four sounds the same as the word for death. An American golf ball maker experienced sluggish sales in Japan until it realised that it had packaged its product in groups of four.

If you show up with flowers at an Indonesian home, you'll be welcomed warmly - unless you bring an odd number, which is considered unlucky. If your host asks, "Have you eaten?", say yes, even if you're starving. It's a rhetorical, throwaway question (something like "How do you do?") and the answer should always be yes.

So remember: when you jet off to somewhere exotic, you're changing much more than time zones. Watch your step - and your hands.

Secrets of Self-Made Millionaires

Secrets of Self-Made Millionaires

They’re just like you. But with lots of money

When you think "millionaire", what image comes to mind? For many of us, it’s a flashy 1980s entrepreneur who flies a private jet, and lives the kind of decadent lifestyle that most of us can only dream about.

But many modern millionaires live in middle-class neighbourhoods, go to work and shop in discount stores like the rest of us. What motivates them isn’t material possessions but the choices that money can bring.

"For the rich, it’s not about getting more stuff. It’s about having the freedom to make almost any decision you want," says T. Harv Eker, author of Secrets of the Millionaire Mind. Wealth means you can send your child to any school or leave a job you don’t like.

According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, more people are living the good life than ever before: more than a million households boast a net value of more than $1 million. Most of our millionaires are self-made.

And the very rich are getting richer. According to the BRW rich list, our top 200 wealthiest people are worth on average $698 million apiece – up more than $10 million on the previous year. If more people are getting richer than ever, why shouldn’t you be one of them? Here, four people who have at least a million dollars in liquid assets share the secrets that helped them get there.

1. Educate yourself

Tracy Harvey grew up on welfare and the cycle was repeating itself. A single mother of two children, one of whom was autistic, in 1996 she fled an abusive relationship in Adelaide, relocating to Brisbane, where she hit rock bottom.

She was living on a mattress on the floor of a rented property in a bad suburb. She couldn’t afford to get her abscessed tooth fixed and her car was not roadworthy, so she couldn’t take her little girl, Hayley, to school.

"I had taken a handful of pills and I wasn’t thinking properly," says Harvey. "Hayley put her arms around me and gave me a hug and said ‘Mummy, I love you.’ It really was my turning point." Realising that she was the only person who could fix her predicament, Harvey enrolled in a university course to study social work. She also started a small business making theatrical costumes to supplement her pension.

"I saved every penny and put it into a fixed managed fund and started to look for a place to buy," she says. The banks knocked her back, but she found a finance firm prepared to loan her the money to buy her first unit, a run-down dump that had been on the market for a few years. Even though it had no kitchen and holes in the walls, moving in was the best day of her life. She paid as much on the mortgage as she could every week.

Gradually the unit was done up; its value doubled. As soon as she saw the market start to move, she knew it was time to buy again. Because she had made extra repayments and her first home had risen in value, Harvey managed to borrow the money for a second and, almost immediately, a third property.

"I was carrying a huge debt," she says. She took out a line of credit and used that to fix up the properties, and rented them out for more than the mortgage repayments. Then she studied for a real-estate licence so that she could manage all of the properties herself.

Today, Harvey is up to her 14th property and is worth around $4 million. She lives in a beautiful house with a pool, but she’s still ultra-careful with her money: "We live within our means," she says. "I drive an average car. My only goal is to get my daughter through uni and give both my children the skills and know-how to ensure a comfortable financial future.

"So many of us go through a divorce or lose a job – one minute we can have an income and the next minute we don’t. We have to know how to take care of our money."

2. Passion pays off

For 38-year-old Justin Herald, the journey to wealth began one Sunday morning at a church in Sydney’s northwest, when he had an altercation with a member of the congregation.

"You have an attitude problem," she told him.

The accusation sparked something in him, and the cheeky then-25-­year-old borrowed $50 from his brother to have four T-shirts printed with the slogans: "I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem" and "When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you". "It was the best $50 I ever spent," laughs Herald.

By the end of the morning he’d sold three of the four T-shirts. With the money he made he had another six printed, then 12, then 24. "That first year the turnover was $980,000," he says. His business, Attitude Inc, is now a multi- million dollar concern with a wide range of products selling in 3500 stores across Australia.

His success was due to clever marketing – the public loved the slogans – but also, he admits, luck. In those days there was very little competition in his sector of the clothing industry, and he was in the right place at the right time. The media spotlight also helped, with people picking up on Herald’s likeable personality and infectious passion for his business: the night of one TV appearance, 187 stores rang to get his products into their shops.

"The consumer liked the bloke behind the product. They really did support me as an individual as well as the brand," he says. Herald sold the business three years ago, by which time it was turning over $30 million a year, and now spends his time as a motivational speaker.

His message: anyone can be financially successful if they set their mind to it. "You have to have a lot of stickability – not everything is going to work the way you plan it." Still living in Castle Hill with his wife and two children, Herald believes too many successful people become caught up on the trappings of wealth. "I have lived here since I left school at 16," he says. "In this area, you don’t forget where you came from."

Money has meant he has been able to indulge his other passion – fast cars – but essentially he says he’s the same person he’s always been. "Time and freedom and choice are more valuable than having a lot of money in the bank," he says.

3. No guts, no glory

Many of us harbour a dream of becoming our own boss, but rarely spot an opportunity to do so – and this desire is what prompted Annah Stretton, 48, to take a risk.

Twenty years ago, Stretton was working as a product sourcer for a clothing company. She flew around the world, spotted fashion trends, brought samples back to New Zealand and sold redesigned replicas in bulk to department stores. "I was really good at it," she says. "I knew how to pick styles and wheel and deal."

Then when the opportunity arose, Stretton decided to set up her own wholesale clothing business. She converted buildings on her family’s farm in Tatuanui, on New Zealand’s North Island, and her father guaranteed an overdraft of $24,500. Stretton then got busy contacting business connections and before long, she started getting orders – her first being for 20,000 dresses. "It was a hell of a task for one woman sitting on a farm," says Stretton. "But I never doubted I could do it."

There were times when Stretton couldn’t make monthly payments, but she communicated with her creditors, telling them why, and when she’d have the money. "I was very upfront with them," explains Stretton.

By the end of its first year of trading, Stretton Clothing Company had turned over $817,000. However, Stretton was too consumed with the business to enjoy her new-found success. She worked hard, driving around in her Mitsubishi L300, sourcing fabrics and visiting customers. But as the Asian import market started to grow, many of the big retailers began buying through their parent companies rather than independently for the New Zealand market. "I wasn’t prepared to follow the same path," says Stretton.

To strengthen her business, she broadened her product line and launched a boutique collection line of clothing, Sam & Libby. Stores were paying a wholesale price of about $33 a garment and selling them for about $150. Eventually, she decided to open her own boutique. "I planned to go into rural areas that were fairly affluent, and offer them services that they would expect from a city store, such as a quality tailor and exciting visuals."

Within two years, she had seven stores. Today, there are 32 Annah S. and Annah Stretton stores in New Zealand, her company exports to around 150 boutiques throughout the world and generates over $8.17 million in revenue a year. As her business grew, so did Stretton’s public profile and she started writing a monthly column in Her Business magazine. One day the editor of the magazine e-mailed her saying the future of the magazine was uncertain, cheekily adding, "You don’t want to buy it, do you?"

Stretton made the snap decision to do precisely that. "I didn’t know much about publishing, but I quickly became passionate about it," says Stretton. Her publishing company now produces three magazines.

Today, the mother of two runs both companies, is heavily involved in charity fundraising and mentors women on how to succeed in business. Stretton’s top tip: "If you don’t love what you are doing – get out and find something you do!"

4. Set your sights on where you’re going

At the age of 40, Paul Counsel from Leederville in Western Australia hardly seemed on the road to wealth. A potter and ceramics artist, he was used to scraping by on whatever work was on offer. Then in 1994 he was invited to a major art exhibition in Perth, where he exhibited 40 beautiful pieces. The show was a success, but still he only sold seven, coming out with just $1500 – not including the cost of the materials.

"I thought, Hang on, I want be wealthy," Counsel recalls.

Thinking like a millionaire is a crucial first step to becoming one. "Most people retire financial underachievers," he says. "You have to see the world differently from the way other people see the world." Counsel borrowed enough money for a deposit on a house, fixed it up and invested the money he made in the share market. In just three years and eight months he’d made his first million.

What counts most, he says, is mindset: freeing yourself from society’s conditioning and becoming economi­cally and personally free.

"As soon as we earn an income, we’re encouraged to buy things we can’t afford," says Counsel. "Credit and buy-now-pay-later schemes lull us into a life of debt servicing rather than experiencing the freedom that income should provide." Today he has more money than he’d like to mention, but still lives in the same Californian bungalow in the suburbs and shuns the trappings of luxury that so many of us aspire to. "My neighbours don’t have a clue how much money I have," he says. "Everybody teases me about my Hyundai car… but it’s bloody comfortable."
From Reader's Digest Magazine - October 2008

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