How to Make Up Your Mind to Succeed

Mind-set is key to finding success for yourself and your children

Well-intentioned parents have unwittingly left their kids defenseless against failure. The current generation of millennials (born between 1980 and 2001) grew up playing sports where scores and performance were downplayed because "everyone's a winner." And their report cards had more positive spin than an AIG press release. As a result, Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck, PhD, calls them the "overpraised generation." Fortunately, once you understand the situation, there's some quick corrective action that can be taken. And even if you're well past your child-rearing years, her advice will help you better withstand setbacks.

Dweck has been studying how people handle failure for 40 years. Her research has led her to identify two distinct mind-sets that dramatically influence how we react to it. Here's how they work:

A fixed mind-set is grounded in the belief that talent is genetic--you're a born artist, point guard, or numbers person. The fixed mind-set believes it's entitled to success without much effort and regards failure as a personal affront. When things get tough, it's quick to blame, withdraw, lie, and even avoid future challenge or risk.

Conversely, a growth mind-set assumes that no talent is entirely heaven-sent and that effort and learning make everything possible. Because the ego isn't on the line as much, the growth mind-set sees failure as opportunity rather than insult. When challenged, it's quick to reassess, adjust, and try again. In fact, it relishes this process.

We are all born with growth mind-sets. (Otherwise, we wouldn't be able to survive in the world.) But parents, coaches, and teachers often push us into fixed mind-sets by rewarding certain behaviors and misdirecting praise. Dweck's book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, and online instructional program, brainology.us, explain this in depth. But she says there are many little things you can start doing today to guarantee that your kids, grandkids, and even you never get derailed by failure.

FOR KIDS

In school

Never compliment a child by saying "You're so smart" or "You picked that up so quickly." Instead, praise effort or strategy by saying "That was clever of you to take that approach" or "I'm proud of your persistence." Listen for similar remarks from teachers and correct them.

In sports

Instead of "You're a natural," say "Practice is really making you better." Instead of inquiring "Did you win?" ask "Did you give your best effort?" Explains Dweck, "Talent isn't passed down in the genes; it's passed down in the mind-set."

At the dinner table

Instead of the standard "How was your day?" (which everyone dreads anyway), ask "What did you learn today?" or "What mistakes did you make that taught you something?" Describe with zeal something you're struggling with. "Instill a passion for learning," says Dweck.

In making plans for the future

Don't just ask about goals; ask about the plan for reaching those goals.

In frustration

Don't permit children to refer to themselves as losers, failures, stupid, or clumsy. "Never let failure progress from an action to an identity," says Dweck. Likewise, don't label your kids. Don't say this one is the artist, and this one is the computer geek. Anyone can be anything.

In doubt

If you encounter skepticism, ask the child to think of areas in which she once had low ability and now excels, or to recall a time when she saw someone learn something or improve in ways not thought possible.

FOR YOU

At work

Instead of letting salary, benefits, and status define job satisfaction, ask yourself if you're still learning. If the answer is yes, then you're fortunate to have a job that encourages a growth mind-set. View its challenges as opportunities rather than stress. If you've stopped learning, then consider looking either for new avenues of growth or for another job.

In relationships

Blame never resolves anything. It's merely the fixed mind-set insisting that you're right. The next time you're tempted to blame, says Dweck, remember that "the whole point of marriage is to encourage each other's development."

When feeling down

People who are depressed tend to believe that's just the way they are. Instead of viewing yourself as a failed end product, think of yourself as a temporarily derailed work in progress. "We usually think of personality as something very stable," says Dweck, "but we're finding that even core parts of it can be changed by shifting mind-sets."

The sun's cooling down - so what does that mean for us?

The sun's activity is winding down, triggering fevered debate among scientists about how low it will go, and what it means for Earth's climate. Nasa recorded no sunspots on 266 days in 2008 - a level of inactivity not seen since 1913 - and 2009 looks set to be even quieter. Solar wind pressure is at a 50-year low and our local star is ever so slightly dimmer than it was 10 years ago.

Sunspots are the most visible sign of an active sun - islands of magnetism on the sun's surface where convection is inhibited, making the gas cooler and darker when seen from Earth - and the fact that they're vanishing means we're heading into a period of solar lethargy.

Where will it all end? Solar activity varies over an 11-year cycle, but it experiences longer-term variations, highs and lows that can last around a century.

"A new 11-year cycle started a year or two ago, and so far it's been extremely feeble," says Nigel Weiss of the University of Cambridge. With Jose Abreu of the Swiss Federal Institute of Aquatic Science and Technology in Dübendorf and others, Weiss recently predicted that the long-term solar high we've been enjoying since before the second world war is over, and the decline now under way will reach its lowest point around 2020. Their prediction is based on levels of rare isotopes that accumulate in the Earth's crust when weak solar winds allow cosmic rays to penetrate the Earth's atmosphere.

There's even a chance, says Weiss, that we might be heading for a low as deep as the Maunder minimum of the 17th century. Either side of that trough, Europe shivered through the Little Ice Age, when frost fairs were held on the Thames and whole Swiss villages disappeared under glaciers. So should we expect another freeze?

Those who claim the rise in temperatures we've seen over the last century are predominantly the result of intense solar activity might argue that we should, but they're in the minority. Most scientists believe humans are the main culprit when it comes to global warming, and Weiss is no exception. He points out that the ice remained in Europe long after solar activity picked up from the Maunder minimum. Even if we had another, similar low, he says, it would probably only cause temperatures on Earth to drop by the order of a tenth of a degree Celsius - peanuts compared to recent hikes. So don't pack your suncream away just yet.