Cuba develops energy saving technology

PTI Mon, 23 Mar, 2009,11:43 AM
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Cuba has developed an engine that automatically switches on and off multiple and high-tech TV broadcast and in the process saves a lot of energy, Radiocuba has said. Experts in Camaguey, east Cuba, developed and fitted the engine to the broadcast chain helping improve reliability by commuting for better quality signal if there is a glitch.
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So it helps keep services in the region regardless of the weather conditions, Radiocuba specialists said. Cuba is now ready to extend the innovation nationwide, in use in Camaguey since 2006, to help enhance the life of equipments. The engine has helped introduce scientific innovation and is currency and fuel saving, Radiocuba director Luis Riveron said. The device has helped automate the switch on/off system at TV and radio broadcast stations.
It has also helped install data transmission systems to monitor and operate transmitters and generators and create an energy-saving technology via intelligent control of the bearer.

Zen Stories

To Go With The Flow:

Taoist story has an old man who by accident fell into the speeding waters of a river that lead to a dangerous waterfall. The people who witnessed the mishap feared for his life. But miraculously to the wonderment of all, the man emerged alive and unscathed, downstream at the bottom of the falls. The astounded crowd asked the old man as to how he survived such an accident. The old wise man said "I accommodated myself to the water and not the water to me. Without giving a thought, I let myself to be shaped by the currents. Plunging into the swirl, I emerged alive with the swirl. This is how I survived."

Maintaining Silence

Four monks decided not utter a word for two weeks in order to indulge in silent meditation. One the very first day by night fall the flame of the candle flickered and went off throwing them into darkness. The first monk voiced out : "Oh, no! The candle is out." The second said : "Aren't we not suppose to talk?"The third followed the second, "Why must you two break the silence?" The fourth laughed and proudly made a statement : "Ha! I'm the only one who didn't speak."

The Self
A man approached a Zen Master in a distraught state. He implored the Master thus : " Master I feel totally lost and desperate. I do not know who I am? I plead you to show me my true self!"The master was nonchalant and did not respond. The man was dismayed and started begging and pleading with the master but of no avail ! The frustrated man, giving up hope, turned to leave when the master called out his name. The man responded "Yes!", spinning around to face the master when he exclaimed "There it is!"

Acceptance: The Key to Transcendence

Acceptance: The Key to Transcendence
Naren :Spiritual hub

A man walks into a hair salon to get his hair shampooed and braided. The hair dresser, at first, takes it as a joke because the man has only three hairs on his head. Without saying anything, the hairdresser proceeds with his job. But before he finishes combing, one of the hairs falls off.

The hair dresser, instantly, apologizes out of embarrassment only to be surprised again as the man replies, “Don’t be worried. Now I just have to part my hair in the middle! No big deal!”
The hair dresser realizes that he has to be careful as the man has only two hairs remaining. He cannot mess up this time. As he was drowned in such thoughts while carefully trying to braid the hairs, one falls out. OOPS! The hair dresser feels really bad and starts apologizing again, and offers a free service. But the man answers calmly.

“Oh! Well, don’t be worried. Now I just have to run around with my hair all ruffled up. No big deal! What to do? Such is the way.” This is the attitude of total authentic acceptance. The man is not even slightly bothered or upset that now he has only one hair left. Now, when you carry such attitude, you cannot remain miserable. Instead you are perfectly content and happy in whatsoever you have. The man had three hairs; now only one. So what? He has embraced the situation with acceptance without any complaint or grudge.

I guess it may be really difficult these days to find such a person. Another man in that situation might sue the hair dresser and reap lots of money. Anyway, this is simply an anecdote, a joke, and may not be a reality. But it makes sense if we look into it deeply.

Troubled Mind, Agitating Heart
There is so much joy and beauty in life, yet our lives seem like a burden, a huge load of pain and suffering, which keeps on dragging us down from cradle to grave... What is it that is keeping us from discovering the inner beauty of our lives? What is it that is preventing us from achieving total contentment? Every individual has the utmost potential to be profoundly happy, and enjoy this ultimate existential gift called life in full ecstasy and eternal bliss. Yet, we miss this divine opportunity to rejoice life in its fullest, like an emperor. Instead, we end up like a beggar, reducing life to a sad tale of misery and suffering. Our life becomes a desert, dry and lifeless, and simply wilts just like a flower at the end of the day. The only difference is that a flower achieved its full blossoming and radiance, and its fading is simply the way of nature. But, look at us, we neither bloomed nor shone fully, despite having the tremendous potential to achieve the ultimate flowering. Why?

These questions have severely troubled my mind while agitating my heart and finally leading me to write this article. I am hoping it will bring some light of understanding to all, including myself.
Life is a big mystery in itself. We cannot predict what is next. Any moment anything can happen. Today you may be riding on the wave of success, and tomorrow you may be swept by the current of failure. Your life may be an oasis of happiness and tomorrow, it may turn out to be barren as the desert.

The unpredictable nature of life makes it tremendously dangerous. But, in that danger lies the deep beauty of life. This is why it’s better to squeeze the juice out of life as much as we can. But, do we really do so? Do we really accept life moment-to-moment, as it is, without any conditions, fear, or worry? Most of us do not.

Why is it so difficult for us to accept life as it is, with joy and celebration? Why the word acceptance has become so inconceivable and hard to accept? Just the mentioning of the word, provokes some people – why? I would say that it is not because of the word itself, but because of us. Because, whenever we accept, we don’t accept with a joyous heart. Our acceptance is stemming from a reluctant heart. It’s coming out of compulsion.

It seems like we have been compelled to accept. Our acceptance is not a melodious song coming out of the innermost feeling of our rejoiceful heart. Even when we accept, we don’t quite accept totally. It’s simply a self-deceiving act because inside we haven’t fully agreed. The ego still tries to find a way to escape, and make things work out without acceptance. It is very hurtful for the ego to accept something especially if it disagrees with it.

Hence, acceptance has become a very heavy word, and it is just because of us, not that there is anything wrong with the word. Acceptance can be a beautiful and enlightening experience in your life, if it arises out of your authenticity. If you accept things with a welcoming heart, if you accept things with dance, song and music, then your acceptance becomes a celebration. It becomes an enjoyment, a total ecstasy. It can help you go beyond, out of your past. It can totally transcend you. But what to do, we accept only when we feel helpless, and under pressure. We don’t accept out of strength and understanding. And that’s why we suffer so much in life, and we don’t transcend.

If we go back and ponder over the anecdote in the introductory paragraph, it clearly reveals that the man is blessed with a great art –an art of purely authentic acceptance. The man could have complained, caused a big fight, or made a huge fuss, but he simply accepted the grave situation by saying, “What to do? Such is the way.” A person who carries this attitude remains happy in any situation. Nothing and nobody can shake foundation of his inner peace and contentment – because his foundation is built strongly from his simple approach, an approach of accepting things in their totality. His approach is commendable. Let’s dissect the situation here. The two hairs from his head have already fallen off, and the poor hair dresser cannot stick them back. However, the man hasn’t accepted the situation just because nothing can be done, but his acceptance is coming purely from a cheerful heart. His acceptance is not half-hearted. His acceptance is not out of helplessness, but out of sheer clarity and contentment, and that’s what makes the difference, and makes his attitude commendable.

Buddha's Term "Tathata"

Bhagwan Buddha has mentioned a simple word “tathata” and the whole Buddhist practice of meditation revolves around this term. It has been translated as thatness, thusness, or suchness in English language. This is the only problem with translation. The word loses it authentic substance and meaning during the course of translation. But, according to my understanding and background, the closest translation for the term “tathata” would be “suchness.” I like the term “suchness” and it makes more sense in this article, so let’s proceed with that one. Suchness simply means such is the way, such is the way of the nature of things, simply accept it.
Buddhism depends on this word in such magnitude that it becomes the way of their lives, and eventually the word disappears and simply “tathata” or “suchness” remains. Moreover, one adopts this practice of suchness to the extent that eventually one becomes the suchness.
Let’s say, you are not feeling good, or you have a terrible headache, or suffering from some kind of illness. Then you say to yourself, such is the way, such is the way of nature, and such is the nature of things and calmly accept the situation. Nothing can be done. The key is that you not only say these things to yourself, but also feel them deeply inside. Furthermore, the suchness not only remains as thoughts or philosophy, but it becomes a lifestyle. The whole way of living becomes suchness. One becomes so conscious and attuned with this term that he is not even worried about when to think about it. The term becomes embedded so deeply inside that you ultimately become suchness. Then you do not fight with the illness or any pain or discomfort. You just accept it. In fact, acceptance descends by itself. It need not be forced. This actually can be a very powerful healing force in itself. Because, while you are simply accepting the sickness, then your energy becomes one. If you are fighting, then your inner energy gets divided into halves, half is being used to fight the illness and the other half is wasted in the pain and constant complaining about the illness. But if you simply accept without any fight or conflict, then inner energy can act as one single healing force.

The attitude of acceptance with suchness functions not only on a physical level, but also on mental and spiritual levels as well, and ultimately leads you to transcendence and total contentment.

When Worry becomes the Central Core of Our Life

All through life we are constantly worrying, running here and there, in deep anguish, anxiety and stress. It seems like worry continues until the end of life. So, what is worry anyway? Worry is our inability to accept things the way they are. Worry exists when we enforce our own ideas, dogmas, and philosophies, and do not agree with the reality of the things. We don’t like things happening in their own way as we want them to follow our way. Just remember the saying, “My way or the highway.” But, in life that’s not possible. It’s either “life’s way or the highway” because life does not follow your footsteps. Remember: no matter how much you wish or want, life has its own natural course. It cannot agree with your philosophies and ideas. It does not follow your beliefs, faith and religion. Life remains aloof from these things and flows on its own. It does not follow your desires. One has to accept the way of nature one day.

Fear of Death
If you are born then you die as well. Life and death complement each other. But, we do all we can to secure ourselves from death, clearly knowing that one day our physical body has to die. Such is the way of nature. Such is the way of existence. Nothing can be done, and we cannot deny this existential truth. All we can do is simply accept. But how many of us accept? Very few. Those who accept this truth will transcend. For example, even like Buddha dies. He is Buddha but that does not mean things are different for him. He is no different than an ordinary individual, and existence has no special preference for him. The only difference is that he accepts his death with a welcoming and joyous heart and dies happily. There is no fear of death on his face, while we shiver just from the name of death. Enlightened Masters like Buddha, Lao Tzu, or Bodhidharma die so cheerfully that it seems as if no death exists. Acceptance thus leads to transcendence. Once you understand this simple truth, then you can also transcend like every Buddha, and even when you die, you die transcended.

Desire to be Young Forever
Let me give you another example. Who does not want to be young forever despite knowing the fact that one day we have to grow old. However, we are constantly worrying about getting old, longing and wishing to be young forever. These days, people are doing all they can to remain young. This is simply ridiculous. People have lost their authentic individuality in their plastic dreams of remaining young forever. You may change your outer layering but you cannot change the inside. And this is the worry. You may look young outside, but you clearly know that it’s not the real you. You have traded your individuality in, while trying to gain some plastic beauty outside. No matter how much you try the feeling of getting old and the fake consolation that you wear on the outside, will haunt your mind and torture you soul forever. All because you cannot accept that getting old is a natural phenomenon. Just like you get hungry or thirsty, one day you will grow old as well. But we don’t want to accept this truth. We just cannot accept it. And even when we accept, we accept with utmost difficulty and reluctance. With such attitude, misery is bound to follow in life.

The Disease called Love
Furthermore, people worry about pretty much everything, work, money, finance, love, relationships, sex and the list goes on and on. Let’s talk about love. Love is beautiful and in the meantime painful. But that’s what love is. It is beautiful because it gives you a glimpse of ecstasy and bliss, while it’s painful because there is fear that it may not last forever. It slips out of your grasp and you simply can’t do anything. Such is the way of nature. It’s hard to accept this truth when it comes to love, but those who understand will transcend. Because love can easily lead you to meditation. Because in love, you see that glimpse of truth, beauty, and eternal bliss which mediation can offer. Love awakens your inner thirst ultimately leading you to the path of seeking and inquiry, and which is meditation.

You love your wife and your wife loves you. You have been married for years. The relationship is strong, and unbreakable. Still, there a fear lurks around in the back of your mind that one day your partner may leave you for somebody else or some other reason. Or, the day might come when your partner may not love you. The love may simply disappear from his/her eyes. Now there is the worry. You wanted to live your life together, but she decides to leave you. You have sacrificed your whole life for him, and he has dumped you for some other woman. Now, what can you really do? You may force him or her to stay with you. You may plead, beg, cry, weep and wail. But one thing that needs to be understood is love cannot be forced. It happens on its own. You may force your partner to stay, but if there is no love than both of your lives will be a tale of deep misery and suffering.

Problem: You expect love to be forever. You wanted it to be permanent. But we all know that there is nothing permanent in this world. And certainly you will be worried. Everything mundane and belonging to the world falls into the law of impermanence. Now if love has deserted you or vanished, leaving you in a dark well of sadness, certainly you will be crushed and fallen. Nothing can be done. The attitude of suchness says, accept this situation. Such is the way. If you feel like crying your heart out, do so, but do not resist or suppress your feelings or emotions. This applies to both man and woman. Let your feelings well out. If you are worried, be worried. What can you do? But accept all these totally without fear or putting on a mask.

But the question that troubles my mind is that, “Do we really accept these events that constitute our life, totally?” I am not just talking about being crushed in love, but also in all other situations.
Life is moment-to-moment, and every moment there is something happening. The sunlight comes into your house and moves onto another. The breeze of happiness comes into your life and then moves onto another. Love also acts the same way. One moment it’s with you and another moment it’s gone. Life is in the flux, and nothing is permanent.

However, we don’t see these things because our eyes are blinded with worry, stress, and ego. On one hand, there is a constant worry and on the other hand there is a deep longing, desire, and expectation to achieve. An individual is torn in so many directions and there are so many divisions within him that his whole life becomes muddled with clouds of confusion. The energy is divided into so many directions that there is always tension. There is always conflict. The mind becomes chaotic like a crowd, thoughts running this direction, that direction, everywhere.

Existence has given us the most precious gift through which we could attain profound happiness and ecstasy, but we seem to have taken things for granted simply by not lighting the lamp of intelligence. And how to light the lamp of intelligence – it is simple, through understanding. Yes, understanding is the master key that unlocks the Pandora’s Box of contentment.

The Lost Key
But, we keep on missing continually. We have the key but we keep on forgetting that we have it. We carry it with us all the time, but we assume it’s not with us. Have you ever locked your key inside the house and then had to call a locksmith? But when the lock was broken, you remember that the key was in your pocket. The key was in your pocket all the time and you kept on waiting for the locksmith worrying and panicking. You could have simply looked into your pocket. But, you didn’t. Because you are so worried, how can you? Similarly, this is what’s happening to our lives. The cloud of worry and discontentment have covered our eyes so much that we are unable to see things clearly. And we have completely missed the tremendous beauty and grace that life can offer.

Then what do we do? Exhausted, crushed, and defeated --- eventually we accept things, but grudgingly, half-heartedly. We accept only when we run out of options. Yes, in a state of complete helplessness we accept. I don’t call this authentic and pure acceptance. This is simply surrendering or giving up. And it makes a big difference. The difference is that the acceptance is not happening by itself or coming out of a welcoming heart, it is being forced on us. We had to force ourselves to accept the reality. There were no other doors for an exit. We gave a good fight, but we got defeated. We got crushed and crippled under the harsh wheel of reality. Again, we’ve missed the point. We accepted but not with the attitude of suchness. Our ego hasn’t disappeared, it is just wounded. It will bounce back. Only with total acceptance, will there be no ego. With partial and half-hearted acceptance, ego is always there. It may seem gone, but it is submerged, deep down, wounded. It has simply gone into hibernation. On the right climate and season, it will resurface and haunt you again.


Our misery, problems, and our sufferings will continually exist because we are unable to accept the way things are happening in its nature, but also because we wanted to enforce our idea and logic. And now, all the reasoning, explanation, and logic have failed, so what to do? Then we accept, but still deep down we have left a little aperture of hope open.

Not a Hollywood Ending
Acceptance is not an open ending like in a Hollywood movie where there is always some clue for the protagonist to escape; acceptance should be absolutely total and authentic. Outside we have accepted grudgingly but inside we still wish that things could have gone the other way. We wish that we could go back in the past and change things. We wish to undo many things and change the present situation of turmoil in our life. We are not accepting with the richness of an emperor’s heart, we are accepting like a beggar. Our heart is not open and smiling. Because we still have left the light of hope alive inside us. We have still left the wound inside of us to grow. With the flow of time, we may forget the pangs of break-ups, misfortunes, loss, failures, divorce etc... But, the wound is still there. Time has healed and covered the wound.

Let’s say a person has a tumor. If the surgeon leaves even a small piece then there is a chance of the tumor growing back again.

Likewise, out of sheer helplessness you accepted, and time cured, but not through your understanding. This is where you missed again. One thing we need to understand is that, only through total acceptance, which is by simply accepting things the way they are and not providing any resistance, transcendence is possible. This understanding is the ultimate key that will help you achieve the inner treasure of your life. No one and no situation can make you miserable. You will be happy and cheerful in any condition. Remember the guy with three hairs from the opening paragraph. Yes, your life will be total contentment then.

So, allow acceptance of its own accord and do not force or embrace it out of helplessness. Let me repeat again, do not accept half-heartedly or grudgingly. Welcome it with an open and cheerful heart. Simply try looking at things with clarity. Wipe off the dust of hope and desire that has covered your eyes, and look at things the way they are. Remember Buddha’s term “tathata”. Such is the way of nature. You cannot force unnatural on something that is natural.

For example, no matter how much you wish, you cannot change the direction of a cool breeze that blows into your garden, you cannot make flowers blossom, or have the moon shine only in your roof.

Life also has its own way, on natural path. Don’t try doing something unnatural. Flow with it, why create so much nuisances by creating resistance. Why create unnecessary troubles. Why you want to hurt your head, if it’s perfectly fine?” This is acceptance with an attitude of suchness.

Final Words
I am perfectly aware that I have dwelt on many topics in this article, but my main effort is on growth and understanding. Having said so let me give you another small story:

A villager was traveling on a train on his way to the city, and was carrying a big load of luggage on his head. Everybody was staring at him in awe. This was his first time on the train, and the villager was innocent and ignorant. In villages, people are used to carrying stuff on their head, and so was this villager. He simply didn’t see that the he could drop his load as it would make no difference to the train. But the villager was simply not aware out of his ignorance.

Similarly, we haven’t really dropped the load – a load full of misery, pain, dreams and desires, beautiful, or ugly past. We haven’t fully accepted things in suchness. We have been carrying the load of wounds, dreams and hopes all along. Because of this load, we have been ruining our present as well. Not only the present, but also the future. Because, the more load you acquire right now, your future will be heavier. That means more misery and more suffering. Okay, let’s leave the future far, but look at us, we barely live in the present. We are swinging in the duality of past and present. On one hand, the past haunts us and on the other hand, the future is pulling us. This is called traction. We are being pulled from both sides. Torn, we drag our lives in the present. Why wouldn’t we be miserable then? How can we be happy in such condition, when we have no idea what’s going on, when we are living a chaotic life, swinging back and forth like a pendulum? We can drop the load. It’s totally up to us. All we need is to imbibe the attitude of acceptance with suchness. It is not any kind of compulsion; it is simply looking at things with clarity, and full of awareness. It is simply clearing all the dust that we have accumulated on our path towards contentment. But again, our acceptance should be out of understanding and strength, and not out of helplessness, compulsion and reluctance. Our acceptance should rise from a welcoming and cheerful heart. Only then transcendence is possible. Buddha, Lao Tzu, Osho, Gurdjieff, Boddhidharma have all transcended, why cannot we?

The Joy of Being Realistic

There are many people who have either positive or negative approaches in life, but how many of them are realistic? Realistic means to look at things as they “really” are.
Do you look at things as they are?
Do you only look at the positive side or only the negative side?
Are your thoughts influenced by positive thinking or by negative thinking?
Let me start by sharing my thoughts:

Italian Neo Realism
After having read my articles you might have already presumed that I have a great passion for movies. In college I used to spend most of my time in the library engrossing myself in film books, than in the classes. As I was learning about films and filmmakers, I came across The Bicycle Thief, directed by one of my favorite directors, Vittoria De Sica. This film made in 1948 has made an indelible impact in my life. The film is an example of Italian Neo realism in the history of cinema. Films which belong to this movement were shot mostly in locations, with non-actors in the lead role, financed in a shoe-string budget, and typically featured the story of the working class family.

The Bicycle Thief is one great example of the realistic cinema. The protagonist needs a job to support his family, but jobs are scarce. He finds one, which requires a bicycle. He manages to buy one by pawning the family’s bed sheets. Unfortunately the bicycle is stolen on the first day of his work. Heartbroken, the protagonist, with the help of his young son, tirelessly and desperately searches for the bicycle all day, but with no success. Tired, frustrated and scared the protagonist steals a bicycle in the end, gets caught, and is beaten by the mad crowd in front of his son. Embarrassed he could not look into his son’s eyes. The film ends showing father and son walking along the way with their future lying in uncertainty.

This film renders universal emotions in a simple way, paints the grim picture of reality, and translates the story on the screen as it is, maintaining its universally comprehensible theme. It does not force on the viewer a message like “Oh! You have to be positive and good things will come along the way. Don’t think of negative, be always positive.” The story is a depiction of a sharp and poignant reality of the struggling family, the most profound portrayal of father and son relationship, and thus stands out as one of the best films of all time

Positive Thinking -- A Sweet Candy
Those who say that you have to be positive are simply giving us false consolations and hopes. They are simply deceiving us. I am not into hope, I am into reality.

You can keep on hoping to build a castle in the air and stay positive, but do you think your positive thinking will produce the outcome you are hoping for.

Absolutely not! These are false dreams. You can keep on thinking about being as rich as Warren Buffet or Bill Gates and be positive about it, but do you think you will be rich as they are just by thinking positively.

Positive thinking is just like handing candy to a weeping child. When you give him a sweet candy, he will stop crying for the moment and then when it’s finished he will start crying again. How long can you keep on giving the child sweet candies? The very notion that: You have to be positive whatsoever happens to you, is wrong. And, by thinking positively do you think it will solve your problems. Do you think your miseries will disappear into thin air right away? Do you think by denying the negative, the negative will not be there. NO. By being positive, you are simply attempting to hide the negative. You are just being evasive and not acknowledging the other half of the truth.

Hence, we have to understand that, positive thinking is just one way of looking at things.
Similarly, negative thinking is the other way of looking at things. It is as wrong as positive thinking. I am not for or against either side. To me, both positive and negative are equally important as they comprise the whole. Just like every coin has two sides, there is day and night, there is life and death, there is joy and pain, there is beauty and ugliness –all of these things are complimentary to each other. This is the truth and this is the reality. Reality cannot be changed. A lie changes, but truth always remains the same. This is the way the Existence has planned things. There is nothing we can do about it. We just have to accept it. Total acceptance leads to understanding.

Final Thoughts
Have you ever seen the beauty of reality? Have you ever realized the joy of seeing things as they are in their whole or totality, instead of looking at only one side? There is so much joy in adopting a realistic approach in life – neither being positive nor negative – just accepting the way things are with grace and love. If you start practicing this holistic attitude from now onwards, you will see the result. You will be astounded to see how both positive and negative support and are interdependent to each other.

Let me conclude with one example: The lotus is a beautiful flower that blooms out of the mud. This is the positive way of seeing it. But, if there wasn’t mud for the lotus flower in which to grow, then it wouldn’t look so beautiful. This is being realistic, looking at both the mud and the lotus flower.

A Simple Secret to a Fulfilling Life

Who doesn’t go through an occasional feeling that life is meaningless and empty, and living is totally worthless? My certainty is coming from my own experiences, and I know it’s tough especially when things are not going according the way you have always wanted. Feelings as mentioned above are bound to well up as you have always given a path to high hopes and then suddenly you realize that life is not as simple as you may have thought. The pangs of reality, inability to attain desired things, and the struggle to survive can easily wear down your motivation and spirit, and leave you completely hopeless and frustrated. Why does life seem meaningless, empty, and worthless? What are the reasons behind such feelings? Is there a way to cope with such feelings and find meaning and fulfillment in life again?
In this article, I will be answering the above questions to my best.

Desire
The number one reason why life seems so empty, meaningless and purposeless is our desire itself. The very desire of wanting more, asking more, and craving for more is the main culprit behind all our despairs and anxieties. This is a truth and cannot be denied or overlooked, and one has to acknowledge it. You may have a nice job and be living comfortably, or you may be struggling to get nice job, but your mind is not content. It is constantly nagging and asking for more. No matter how much you have, it does not really matter, the only thing that truly matters is that you ought to have more in life to fill up the void that you have inside. Honestly, your desiring for more is creating more void and emptiness inside you. Because -- unless and until you drop your desire, your inner being will never be full. It’s like filling water in bucket with a hole. You can keep filling it, but do you think it will ever be full. No, certainly not. Similarly, by asking for more, your wish will never be fulfilled, and emptiness is bound to reign in your heart. Why? Because, emptiness is an outcome of desiring too much. Stop unnecessary desiring and you will find no trace of emptiness. It will disappear like a shadow. Emptiness was simply following you because you were making more and more demands. And once you come to realize this, there will be no emptiness. On the firsthand, there was never emptiness in you; it seemed real only when you were caught up in your own obsession of desiring more than you need in life.

High expectations, big dreams and unquenchable hopes! The price you pay is a life full of misery and sorrow. Let me provide my own example. I always desired to make movies. My dreams were big. Breaking into Hollywood, gaining name, fame and money, and winning an Oscar was my desire. There were times when I couldn’t sleep a wink at night. I even used to dream about a speech that I would give after winning an Oscar. See, why I wouldn’t be miserable then. I am not saying it is not possible for me achieve what I wanted but dreaming night and day about it and getting obsessed is not healthy. I am not implying that you shouldn’t have a goal or passion in life. You should, but look from a realistic point of view to see if your dream is viable.

But look at today’s society. People have become neurotic. In a mad race of hoarding more and more, people have burdened themselves with high expectations, and big dreams that haunt their moment of happiness throughout their life. For instance: Mr. A just bought a Toyota Camry, I should get a BMW. Mrs. Y walks off, flashing her big diamond ring sending a fire in Mrs. Z’s heart. Now, Mrs. Z will pester her husband for a bigger ring than Mrs. Y’s. Comparison of any sort is not good whatsoever. Comparing will give rise to unnecessary competition and encourage jealousy. And that’s why people are so miserable. Why can’t we be just alone and be happy with whatsoever we have. But see that’s the most difficult thing to do. If we all are content with what we have already then there won’t be a desire of wanting more. But, our mind won’t let us do that, it has to keep us under its control. It will keep on inventing desires, alluring us with golden dreams. And we easily fall into its trickery.

Desiring Success
This can also be deemed as an important reason that contributes to our feeling of life as meaningless and empty. Many of you may not agree with me, but that’s the point. I don’t want you to agree with me, because my intention is not to persuade or convince you. I don’t want you to follow me blindly. I want you to find your own eyes and look at things with clarity. Because, people have become lop-sided and they only look from their own perspective. They are so caught in the net of their ego that they have lost the ability to view things clearly and intelligently.

Now, what is a success? How do you define it? Success to me is subjective. My view on success can be totally different than yours. For some people success could be to become wealthy and prosperous. For others it might be power, prestige, happiness, contentment, a peaceful life, and family, or mastery into meditation, yoga or to attain enlightenment. Some want to excel in the inner world and some want to succeed in the material world. But, how can desiring success shove you into the world of misery and frustrations? As I have been reiterating, desiring as a whole is the main cause. Either you desire success, money, enlightenment, anything. Desire itself can be a barrier. Desire is a wall that’s hindering your growth. Enlightened masters like Buddha, Lao Tzu, Bhagwan Rajneesh have said even desiring desirelessness is a problem. Because with that also, desire is still there. Now, aspiring for success also gives rise to many problems. It will propel cut-throat competition, and selfishness, jealousy and deception. How many successful people in this world have taken the moral path?

In a spiritual world, desire has to be totally dropped. While, in the material world, what would you do without desire, passion, goal, or that hunger to be successful and achieve all that you have always wanted in life? Yes, all the comforts, a dream -- less work, more money, and that so called, “Think Rich” mentality. You need a goal. A strong goal that will give a direction to your life. Otherwise you will wander and wonder all around. In fact, this wondering and wandering of yours is your seeking of an inner peace and contentment, but how many of us know this. Do you think all rich and successful people are happy and content? Do you think their success is soaked in fulfillment? Why are these successful Hollywood stars, celebrities, rock stars are so miserable that they fall into drugs and alcohol? Aren’t they successful, but then why aren’t they fulfilled? Why aren’t they happy in life? What makes them so miserable despite having all the comforts and luxuries that they could ever imagine or dream of? Their dreams have been fulfilled yet misery eclipses their lives. Why? Because, success without fulfillment is worthless and ultimately makes you feel that life is meaningless and empty.

Fear of Failure
Now, with success, lurks a feeling of failure as well. Many people are afraid of failure. On one hand they desire success and the other hand they are afraid of failures. This fear can eat your soul as you desire too much to climb to the highest rung of the ladder of success. You want to attain success, so badly that it would steal the peace of your mind day and night and if you cannot achieve it, there is frustration and failure. Then you would start thinking life as meaningless and empty. You tried so hard. You worked with diligence, passion, dedication, you took moral paths, and you didn’t budge from honesty and integrity, yet you couldn’t taste the fruit of success. You have failed miserably. What to do? Is it your destiny or fate? (Please read The Fallacy of Fate. I have talked more on this topic). Or, is life simply meaningless and empty? Obviously, if the question arises in your mind then why go on living? You had a goal, a dream, a passion, and look what happened. All went in down the drain. Some might say life is such a bitch, a nightmare. You just wanted to have a comfortable living, and you couldn’t get it. Your goal, your intention, your motive was pure and came from a truthful heart; still, you couldn’t get it. While other people who have cheated and taken the immoral route have prospered, thrived and succeeded. Then undoubtedly you will start thinking life as meaningless, empty, and purposeless.

What can be done? What should be done then?
There is a secret -- a simple one, and it is to drop your desires, whatsoever. To say, drop your desire is easy but to implement it into a reality is a difficult task. Following is a list that will help you do so:

1. Deep Understanding: An understanding releases your intelligence. An understanding that desiring more, hankering for more, hoarding more, demanding more are all leading you to frustrations as all the expectations cannot be fulfilled. Nobody has forced you to become miserable. It’s your own choice. The more you desire then the more you are missing of life. We already have so much, yet we are not satisfied. Our forefathers used to travel on foot, and now we can fly all over the world in a day. Advanced technologies, inventions and discoveries in science have given humanity all they wanted. It has given more hopes, meaning more misery. No wonder why we think life is meaningless and empty. The inner thirst cannot be fulfilled by outer materials. But it takes a long time for a man to arrive to this understanding. All his life, he keeps on desiring to possess more. Yes, advances in science and technology have provided more power, more safety, more comfort and luxury than ever, but it has also pushed humanity into deeper misery; because man’s desire has no limits. Remember: The very nature of desire is to remain unfulfilled.

2. Witness your desires: When desire is dropped, there will be no urgency to achieve it, and hence no misery and no emptiness. You just cannot drop desires that you have accumulated for so long. You have invested so much hope, emotion, time and passion in collecting this junk. It would be painful. Surely you would be offended, if somebody walks by you and says: “Just drop your desires. You would be just fine.” It’s not as easy as it sounds. But, you have to make a decision sooner or later. And trust me; you will awaken to this realization. It may take quite a time, but you will arrive to your awareness. Master Gurdjieff used to say ‘self-remembering,” yes, you will remember all that you have forgotten that life is full of beauty and significance, not full of anxiety and anguish. But there is a way to drop desires that have been building your whole life. It is by simply watching the desires that arise on your mind, and being a complete non-doer. Gradually this process of witnessing and watching will lead you to deep fulfillment. You will then fully understand the futility of desires and the disease of wanting more.

3. Give and share: Instead of wasting of life, running here and there in circles, turning your life into a tale of misery and woe, why don’t you start giving and sharing? Just give for the sheer joy of giving. Just share for the sheer joy of sharing. When desiring disappears, your whole being will be filled with so much bliss that you cannot contain the surge of contentment inside and you will start sharing them. You will have no control, sharing and giving will occur on its own when you are so full within. It’s like a flower which has just blossomed. It cannot hold its fragrance anymore. It does not matter who is passing by, but the flower will keep on giving its fragrance all around and to everyone unconditionally. The flower won’t make any distinction whether the passerby is a friend or stranger. Its fragrance is for everyone who is receptive and open. This happens only when you are full of contentment.

4. Watch your emptiness: People who keep on chasing dreams, money and power also suffer miserably inside. They may succeed in the outer world (I gave an example of many movie stars, celebrities, rock stars, politicians and more), but they remain empty, frustrated, and constantly pursuing happiness. To fill up their emptiness, they keep on collecting materials such as big cars, expensive jewelry, big houses, donating to charities and buying good virtue; but their lives meander in frustration and futility. No matter how hard you work to stuff your inner emptiness, it won’t be full. Because -- the whole approach is wrong. The right way is take a meditative path, that is, adopt the way of the meditators. Simply watch the inner emptiness without any desire to fill it up, but with a welcoming and truthful heart. The revelation would be miraculous. You would discover that your inner being is already so full – full of blissfulness, grace, beauty, ecstasy, love, and compassion. It’s a reservoir in itself, and you were stuffing it with mundane things. This revelation will become your liberation as well. This revelation will give you new eyes to look at things now. Before, you were looking things through your mind that was full of your desires. Now, you have tossed your mind and you have started seeing things differently. Now, life is not meaningless, empty, and purposeless, it is so full, that it is overflowing with bliss.

Final Words
There has always been meaning in life. Life is full of significance. But, your eyes are blinded with desire, and ego. Your behaviors are soaked with aggression because you are in a great hurry as you are afraid that your wishes may not be fulfilled. You want more -- that is aggression, you actions are influenced by subtle aggression. Be receptive instead of aggressive. Be a giver instead of greedy wisher. You looked outside. The thirst was inside yet you keep on looking outside. Thus, life seemed meaningless and empty. Let this sink deep into you that once you look inside yourself, the eyes that have missed outside will be amazed to find the source of bliss all within. You will find that life is full of meaning, beauty and grace. Then will you be presented to all the miracles that are offered by the existence. Now you have no desires to wish over, now you are just happy with yourself in whatsoever condition. And you will find meaning and fulfillment in life. Your life will have a direction. Your life will dance in an eternal bliss. Your life will be green again. It will bloom and blossom. There will be poetry, music and dance, and life becomes a moment-to-moment triumph and celebration.

The Joy of Being Yourself

Do you know that out of 6.6 billion people in this world, nobody looks alike? Even an identical twins have different thumbprints. Not only humans, but also plants and animals differ from each other. Isn’t this amazing? Do you think this is merely a coincidence? Absolutely not… Existence has purposefully made us different from each other – but why? Because no other joys are comparable to the ones by being your own true self. Only through your own originality, you can experience the eternal joy of life.

But the question is if there is so much ecstasy and joy in being oneself, then why cannot we be so? What are we so afraid of? What is keeping us from this source of ultimate blissfulness that could flow into our lives any moment?

In this post, first I am going to highlight some crucial factors behind our inability to accept the way we are, and then I will present some remedies to those factors

Society
From the very beginning of our life, we are instilled with the notion by the society in which we live in that we have to become somebody else. A child has no choice of his own, he is only a child – what can he do. He is too weak to resist or fight back. Even if he does so he will be kept quiet. Take religion for example. A child is imposed with the values of the religion of his family. He is forced to adopt the ideologies of that religion. He is not allowed total freedom to grow into his own self and broaden his horizon of knowledge; instead he is constrained to follow a narrower path that causes a negative effect on his growth. For instance, why does a child have to become like a Buddha, a Christ, a Mohammad, a Rama, a Gandhi and so on… Why isn’t he allowed to be himself? Why isn’t he allowed to explore his own immense possibilities?

Family/Educational System
Our family and the educational system that we grow up with also play an important role on molding our future. I was myself fortunate enough to have a family who never tried to impose upon me what they desired me to be. Part of the reason was because they were themselves uneducated. One should know that education gives you knowledge, which in turn strips your innocence, inflates your ego, and makes you more corrupt. Educated or uneducated, it does not really matter, if a person is unaware, then no matter how many degrees he amasses, he remains a knowledgeable and intellectual fool throughout his life. He can never enjoy the sunlight of awareness.

I am thus grateful to have parents who cared more about their children then their own selfish desires. Yes, this is true that many parents want to fulfill their dreams through their children. If a father could not become a doctor, he wants his son to go to medical school. But, the son does not want to be a doctor. He would be happy if he could become an actor. But again, NO, a son has to listen to his father. If he doesn’t listen, then it’s an insult to his father’s love and sacrifices.

This kind of emotional bargaining has created a big rift in our society. This is why the new generation is always rebelling against the older generation. The older generation does not seem to understand that this is not their age any more, time has changed, people have changed.

The example of my parents is a rare exception in the eastern society – because drawing from my experience of growing up there I have seen that almost every parent wants their children to become either a doctor or an engineer or a person of great respect and authority. I don’t particularly blame parents for this because it is coming out of their unawareness. Since they also grew up in the same blind society and were conditioned as such for centuries – what can they offer to their children but the same thing that they learned from their parents?

Media
Forms of mass media especially television, film, and music have been imparting a negative influence upon people mostly, in the western society, but now it is spreading to all societies wherever accessible. Pop culture is so pervasive, that it can reach huge masses of people and influence them in no time. By creating unnecessary hype and giving birth to role models, celebrity figures, superstars, rock stars, superheroes –young teens are forced to believe that if they look or act like these models, only then they will have a place and gain attention among their friends. Teens these days, instead of focusing on developing their own self, would prefer to be like their media created role model. Young girls want to look like some movie star, and boys also aspire to be like their favorite superhero. How is your own growth possible with such a mentality?

Do you know how far a person can go to become like somebody else? On TV we can see there are guys impersonating celebrity women, girls imitating guys, men using various medical procedures to become women, and women seeking plastic surgeries to look more young and beautiful. What has happened to us? What is wrong with people? Why cannot we accept the way we are? Why cannot we be happy with the way we look? Nope. We have to look like some movie star, celebrity, role model, political figure, or some religious figure. Everybody wants to become a Gandhi. Everybody wants to become a Buddha. Jesus, Buddha or other great human beings are all different and lived their lives on their own way. They are all unique expression of the divine, God, Tao, Zen, or the Existence. Why do we need to become like them? Why do people want to be somebody else, when they are so beautiful themselves? Everybody is running in this race from the very beginning of their life. No wonder we are so unhappy and miserable in our lives – because in this need to pretend and imitate somebody else, we have ignored ourselves, we have forgotten the beauty of our own inner being, we have completely strayed from our path that could lead us to our own original individuality. We have been outbid by this unconscious auctioning of our own soul – in trying to be a Xerox copy; we have lost our own true face. Such is the condition of humanity… then how can we be happy in life?

The damage has already been done to a degree that it would take quite some time for people to comprehend the consequences. Sooner or later, people will realize what has gone wrong in their lives – because no matter how beautiful you pretend to be outside, inside you cannot hide the truth of your real self. In society, you might be respectable and you might portray a powerful image, but in your own eyes, you know your true image. And, when you come to know that all your life you acted as somebody else and kept on changing masks, then you will sink low in your own eyes, and resent missing all the joys you could have had by just being yourself.
So, what can be done? How can we be ourselves?

First, you need courage. Yes, a tremendous courage to fight back and resist those factors that have been prohibiting you from becoming your own person. Yes, you need to stand up for your rights and protest against all the impediments that have been posing threats to your growth. You need to act on your own. Don’t think that someone will come and rescue you. You are your own messiah. You have to show tremendous courage to make your own decisions. You might be condemned, you might be ridiculed, you might be threatened – but you should not give up your fight. You are fighting for your own inner freedom; you are fighting for your own individuality, and your own originality. Be a rebel and start your inner revolution before it is too late. Your original self is the most beautiful, highest and eternal gift that has been given to you by your own existence. So don’t give up, and don’t compromise for something lesser and temporary.

Second, you need to drop your fear. Society has been instigating fear among people for centuries, and so far, has succeeded in creating a wall between you and your growth. It’s about time that you bring that wall down. This can only be done, when you are not afraid. Yes, you will face challenges. Yes, you may be mocked, you may be rejected, you may be condemned. Others and society will do all their best in preventing you from achieving your mission. They will keep creating a wall of guilt and fear in you, but you shouldn’t be afraid anymore. Remember, you have already begun an inner revolution; its fire will conquer all the hurdles in your path. Don’t surrender. Face all the insurmountable difficulties with great courage. Others may try to bring you down, run you over, and topple you, but be strong. You have to be as strong as the trees that do not fall in a heavy storm. The trees which fall in the storm are themselves responsible for their death as they were too weak to face the strong wind. Yet, the wind wasn’t strong, instead the trees were weak. So drop you fear and be ready to face any storm in your way.

Third, is by accepting your responsibility. Yes, this is a very daring step. All the problems, all the source of our misery, is our own incapability to accept the way we look, act, and represent ourselves. The moment you accept this, you become responsible. By accepting yourself, you have embraced this responsibility, and you have given birth to a deep love for yourself. Once you start loving yourself the way you are, joy will shower you from everywhere. You will feel happier and blissful. Only then growth will blossom in your soul, and you will become the flower of your own self. A flower that radiates with its original fragrance that lives in freedom, and dies in utter satisfaction and glory…

Fourth, awareness is needed. People have to become aware of a fact that every individual is unique and he/she has is meant to grow differently than others. Society, the parents, religion, politicians, and the educational system should be conscious of this fact, and allow freedom to every individual to choose their own path, support and motivate each individual to become their own flower. People should be provided enough love and nourishment to fully develop to their enormous potential. The individual should not be imposed, threatened, and swayed to become somebody they don’t want to be, as we all know the negative impacts of this approach. The child could have been a great poet, but his family forced him to become a doctor. The child could have excelled as an actor, but he was persuaded to become an engineer. This is why the child remains unhappy all his life – because he is not what he was supposed to be.

Hence, the society, the media, and the family should become aware and conscious, and create an environment for the individual where he can prosper and blossom to be utterly himself.

Final Thoughts
Remember that a lily seed can only produce lily flower, not marigold no matter how much you wish or try. Similarly, you can mold a child to become the way you wanted, but you cannot mold his inner self, instead you make his life miserable when it could have been utterly joyful.
To those grown up unconscious individuals brainwashed by the media and the pop culture, who want to look young forever or look like somebody else, open your eyes and peek once into your inner being. Do not waste your precious life in plastic hopes, be conscious of yourself, it is the most beautiful gift. Don’t be persuaded by people who simply want to exploit your vulnerabilities. Be strong, and learn to accept the way you are. You are already so beautiful. Only once you start loving yourself, you will be loved by everybody. Just be yourself, there are so much joys and beauty waiting ahead for you to make your life a celebration and full of bliss.

Personality vs. Individuality

Ever had that humiliating experience when your first date goes awry when he/she points out how you lack a personality. Then you kick dust all the way home, while wondering how to build an attractive, charming or positive personality. And eventually, you pour all your energy into hundreds of books and articles devoted simply to unraveling the secrets of a better, stronger, charming, sexy or positive personality. Let me tell you one thing it’s not your personality, it’s who you are, that really matters in the long run, and there is no need to waste your time and be overwhelmed in such a web of consolations. No need to be worried; you have just arrived at the right place.


In this article, I am not going to give away tips on building a strong or positive personality; in fact, I will be shattering all your beliefs and hopes regarding personality. My endeavor is to motivate you to find something more beautiful than personality -- something which has always been within you since the day you were born, which is your intrinsic nature and your birthright. It is your own “Individuality.”

Problems with Personality
Society has done all it can to categorize personality and make people believe that their personality is the same thing as their individuality. In the eyes of society, your personality can be nerdy, sexy, geeky, dull, smart, pathetic, charming, attractive, cute, sappy and so on… The problem with such categorization is that you will start associating with the personality that you have been given by your parents, relatives, friends, or teachers. Unconsciously, this array of personalities will start sinking into you and you will start forgetting the real “you.” The real “you” is your essence, or your individuality. Your family and society have been molding you for so long that you don’t even know your original self anymore. They have turned you into something which you were not meant to be.

The article presents several factors behind our inabilities to accept the way we are, and also provide remedies to these problems to some extent.As I mentioned earlier, since we are being molded into something different, against our nature, our life is burdened with misery and suffering. Eventually, we get imprisoned in our own fake personality. It becomes our confinement. It becomes our prison. We become afraid of losing what we have accumulated all our life. Since personality has been deeply rooted into our skin, it becomes extremely difficult for us to get out of this confinement. We have become so used to the personality that we have been wearing, we feel like it has become part of our lives. We cannot part with it as we have developed thinking that it is our true essence.

Here, I am reminded of one true story.
A guy was in prison for many years. Throughout his stay in the prison, he was confined with iron shackles and chains. When he was released, the authorities were about to free him from his chains; but the prisoner wouldn’t let them do so. He had become attached to his fetters; it was as if they were his own body parts.

This is what has happened to people. We have worn so many personalities that now it has become almost impossible to get rid of them. When somebody approaches you and tells you that what you portray is not what you are, you would be offended.

When Bhagwan Buddha started teaching, people thought he was crazy -- because he said that you are asleep. What you have been doing so far, all your beliefs and doctrines are nothing but consolations, and that life is suffering. Certainly people were angry with him. Unlike priests and pretentious gurus, Buddha didn’t give them false hopes and dreams. Instead he presented them with the harsh realities of life, and how through awareness one can deal with them.
But, in the beginning people were offended as they were so used to hearing good things, and it completely shattered the way of their living.

Let me present to you another case:

One incompetent young man somehow was promoted to an executive level in his office. He got that position not because of his qualification, but because of a strong connection that he had. He was in the office one day, facing a great difficulty in tackling an assignment. In the meantime he hears a knock on the door. Now, to pretend that he was busy with his work, and display his level of importance, he picks up the phone and starts talking, while making the visitor wait inside his room. A few minutes later he hangs up the phone and asks for the reason of the visit. The visitor replies that he was there to fix the phone.

What’s the point of pretending when you know who you are inside! Just toss away the phony mask. Deep inside you know your value and worth.

Conflicts

Being identified with personality has fostered many conflicts in people’s lives. For instance, in a job, an ongoing tiff among co-workers is a conflict between their personalities. Between lovers and couples also, the clash of personalities can ignite many squabbles. In life, under many circumstances, personality is to be blamed for many argument and fights. Why – because your personality won’t let you melt into that circumstance. It prohibits your from accepting criticism in a tactful manner. Furthermore, your personality strengthens your ego making it more difficult to give up.

Only your individuality is not afraid of anything, because it has nothing to lose. You have just one individuality. On the other hand, you can carry many personalities. Individuality is the uniqueness of your being. Personality is simply what you wear on the outside. It is how you present yourself in front of others. Thus your personality varies all day long. In the morning you are somebody, at work you carry a different personality, at a club you are a different person, and at home you are different again. All day you are changing skin like a chameleon. This is what a personality is --the outer covering.

Hence it is quite essential to understand that personality is simply a mask, or clothing given to you by others and by yourself, even though you assume it to be your individuality. And, yes you wrap up yourself with that clothing and act as if it’s your authenticity or your own original self. While doing so, your individuality gets buried in your pile of personalities. Thus, personality is simply a deception. It’s not your true essence. Your individuality is your essence. This needs to be understood; otherwise, you will keep on wearing masks all your life, and you won’t be able to know your original face...

You should not worry when people make discouraging comments regarding your personality. They don’t know what they are talking about. Once you come to realize that personality is simply a thin layering and nothing more, you won’t be affected by these ignorant remarks. Once you reach an understanding that real growth is possible only when the personality dies, then you are on your way to finding your true essence.

So do not get deceived by the false ideas given to you by the unconscious mass. Do not listen to their tips on how to concentrate on building your personality. It’s a big lie. It is simply a way to stray you from your individuality. Don’t be fooled by these phony people who want to exploit your vulnerabilities. And anyway even if you follow their advice, it would have no effect. You have hundreds of personalities, how many can you strengthen? It’s not possible to keep track of all of them.

Instead, you should realize that your individuality is covered with this thick layer; hence, a great effort must be applied in uncovering all the masks, all the clothing and all the pretentious behaviors. Discard all these things, and one day your individuality will appear on the surface. That day you will regain your true self. That day your inner being will be filled with fragrance and the grace of the tremendously beautiful flower of your individuality.

Personality and Individuality
Personality is external and is a result of many factors such as education, society, upbringing, environment, circumstances etc. It is created by you and is influenced by external factors. Personality can be changed easily. For instance, if I hypnotize you, you will be a different person. You will act totally different. I can thus change your beliefs, ideals and convictions. Also, your personality will be different if you move to a new place. You have to act accordingly to that culture or surrounding. Hence, personality is artificial and changes repeatedly.
But, your individuality is your innate nature. You were born with it. And it remains the same.
For instance, you can domesticate a snake, make it do what you wish; but one day if it gets a chance it will bite you no matter how much milk you have fed it. That is the snake’s true nature; that is its essence, it can’t help it.
No one can take your individuality away from you. It is pure, innocent and extremely beautiful.

Let me provide you one example:
We all know how innocent little children are. They don’t worry about what others say or think. They play on their own accord. They are not bothered with how to present themselves in front of others. They are totally natural because they haven’t yet gathered personalities. But when the child starts growing, he will be imposed with traditions and values. He will be forced to take upon things against his wishes or the surroundings he grows up will influence him. A child cannot revolt against his own parents or society, who has much more power than he is. This is a big obstruction that has been preventing us from finding our individuality, as we have to take up ideas, doctrines, and philosophies, which are simply adding more layers on the crust and nothing more. We are forced to practice a religion without knowing its meaning. We are thrust upon political ideology without knowing its value. Why cannot a child be left alone to blossom in the freedom of his own individuality?

Consequences
Yes, this imposition and poisoning have plagued all societies. The broken family or the disoriented family is bound to arise as a consequence. A son hates his father. A daughter hates her mother, because they are not allowed to be what they wanted. Children are afraid that they are going to be like their parents, but what else they can be. They learned all from their parents. The personality they wear now has descended straight from their parents. Instead of helping a child in his personal and spiritual growth from early childhood, unnecessary values re being forced upon him. The child carries the pain and the burden being inflicted upon him all his life. Hence he has so much hatred when he grows up.


Conclusion
Just two things are required to be meditated upon. One is the understanding that individuality is our essence, and only through it we can gain the true freedom from the imprisonment of personality. The second is that personality is fickle and it can be changed easily. It is simply imposed upon you by others as well as yourself under the influence of external factors.

Personality is not real, it is a sheer lie – completely man made nonsense. Just realize this and accept the way you are. In true love, deep acceptance, and pure friendship, personality will fade away by itself -- because personality is simply a mask under which you have kept hidden, to make yourself important in all kinds of situations.

Let me elaborate these three points:

First, in true love, you completely disappear. There will be no ego, self or time. There will be no question of personality to bring conflictsin your life.

Second, in deep acceptance, you are not being touched by others’ opinions, negative judgments, insults, or demoralizing remarks. Once you have learned to accept yourself the way you are, your personality will melt by itself.

Third, in pure friendship, personality has no place whatsoever as you have accepted others without any judgments of way they are. In such state, there will be no clash of egos and personalities.

Personality has its own limitations. It cannot get bigger than its boundary. Hence, if you understand the above three points then you have saved yourself from the disease called personality.

Finally, let’s all endeavor to dig the true gem that’s buried in layers of our masks. Let’s not heed those who lure you with secrets on building a positive and strong personality as they are leading you straight to a ditch. Let’s work hard on finding our true essence, our own individuality, which is our intrinsic nature and bestowed upon us by the existence.

How to Accept Criticism with Joy, Compassion, and Openness?

Whenever the word “criticism” is mentioned, it seems to invoke a negative image in our mind. Most of us tend to take it as an insult, discouraging, or offensive, and are unable to handle it easily. And yes, criticism can make a person nervous, mad, and defensive. I have seen people getting offended quite easily and quickly when they hear words of criticism about them. Even a person of high status and considered to be noble, humble, and respectable gets angry when he is being criticized. This has made me to ponder why we cannot accept criticism with an open mind, grace, and joy? Why are we so sensitive about criticism and why do we allow it to affect us in our work, relationship, and productivity?

In this article I am not giving you any tips to face criticism and make your life better. The very word “face” renders a vibe of negativity to me. So I won’t be revealing any secrets on facing criticism. There may be hundreds of articles written on “how to face or deal with criticism” – but this article is not going to lead you to astray from the beginning and make you grope in the darkness; instead it will endeavor in sparking a true, total, and meaningful understanding of criticism.

When we say “how to face or deal criticism” then it implies criticism to be awful, difficult, problematic or troublesome. Criticism in fact is a boon, a beauty, a benediction if we delve deep into it and dissect its psychology.

This article is all about accepting and understanding the true facets of criticism. Let’s not be negative right from the beginning. Let’s be realistic while we approach this topic then only we will be able to understand criticism wholly and enjoy the beauty it can bring to our lives.
here I am with my list on how to accept criticism with joy, compassion and openness.

1. Understand Criticism
First of all, what is criticism? Criticism simply means to analyze, judge, evaluate, investigate, observe etc. However, it has taken a different meaning now, and it is being understood mostly as a means of negative expression. And, yes criticism is viewed in both ways like we view almost everything in world – negative and positive. Let’s drop this concept of negativity and positivity, and proceed with a different notion. Let me put it this way instead – constructive and destructive. The first type can motivate you while the other can demoralize you in your creativity and productivity. And we don’t want that. We don’t want our hard work and aspirations shattered by remarks made by some ignorant and unconscious people.

So it’s really important to understand the source from which the criticism is stemming. Is it coming from jealousy, anger, ignorance, or some unconscious mind? Most of the time people who make negative comments or unjust criticism to another person are people who have a poor self-esteem, and can’t bear to see others climbing the ladder of success. These people are very miserable and unsuccessful in their lives, they have nothing better going on, so they will make hurtful remarks targeting innocent people. Don’t let these people succeed in their mission. Don’t let their unjust criticism enter your conscience. These people will do anything to pull your leg, so be very careful and do not let their insults or remarks impede your path to success. Let their hurls go through one ear and let them out from the other. That would be the best thing to do.

2. Act, Don’t React
It’s easy to say to be cool and calm while somebody is lashing you with insults after insults especially in public. And when the criticism comes while you are with your wife, partner or girlfriend then it would be absolutely intolerable. What to do then? Would you follow this advice: “If someone slaps your one cheek, show your next cheek?” I guess it depends on you.
Well, in my opinion there are two things you can do. Either you can lash back or just keep it cool, take a deep breath, and ignore the critic. When you encroach animal’s territory then they become defensive. It’s natural for them. But, humans have intelligence which allows them to either act or react according to the situation. If you react by being defensive and not thinking then the result could bring negative consequences. There have been many cases where people have done huge crimes in a split of a second of mindless reacting.

However, if you simply accept criticism without reacting, it would embarrass your critic eventually –anyway how long can he go on yelling at you when you do nothing, and remain silent. This act of yours will make the person criticizing you unjustly realize his behaviors. But, if you react and try to get back at him, then it would irritate him more and it could lead to some serious damage.

Like I said earlier, it’s easy to tell somebody to remain cool but it is difficult to implement it when the situation demands. But, again it’s something that we should learn to do. As mentioned in the first sutra, watch the source of criticism. Make sure, if it’s even worth arguing back with the person who is criticizing you. If the person is simply trying to hurt you then don’t even bother about such criticism. Moreover, don’t squander your energy trying to respond to that person as a defense. Simply let it go. Be smart while choosing your enemy. Is the person even worth being your enemy? let me reinforce this with one famous eastern proverb, “If a dog bites you, don’t bite the dog back.”

Therefore, it’s advisable to always watch your reactions. Take a deep breath as it always helps in any circumstance. Give yourself some time to evaluate the criticism and its source, and act properly. Do not react instantly without thinking. Remember it’s better to be quiet for a moment than repent later for your thoughtless actions. Just try to relax, watch your thoughts, and watch your breath as well. This will help your blood cool down.

3. Drop the negative outlook
Drop the negative outlook on criticism and adopt an intelligent one. That means do not take all criticism as negative and bad for you. Take it with a full spirit and joy. Do not run away from them. Remember: even the greatest people are criticized. For instance, Bhagwan Buddha was criticized and condemned heavily. Jesus also had to face the same kind of treatment from people. At the end, he was crucified. Socrates was also poisoned by his own people. So no one can escape criticism. The only way you can hide from criticism is if you lock yourself inside the four walls of your house and simply do nothing. But then what life would it be if you cannot be in the world and enjoy its beauty. Hence, gather courage and accept criticism with joy and grace.

Try turning the criticism that you may view as negative into a constructive one. Criticism is subjective. It’s simply the way people look at it. For example, some critics may not like Mr. X’s movie and give it a bad review. Now, to Mr. X. the review is negative and harmful for his career and movie, but for his competitors the criticism would prove to be a boon, and they would take it as positive. But again Mr. X can use this criticism and implement it in his growth, instead of pining over his loss...

So it all depends on your point of view. Do not be discouraged by criticism that seems negative or demoralizing. In truth, it can be very helpful to motivate you and your work towards your goal. Criticism actually serves as compliment most of the times if you view it that way. May be the person has always aspired to be successful like you and is simply jealous.

And, also if you drop the negative outlook and comprehend things intelligently then you will always find something encouraging in any kind of criticism. This kind of approach will inspire you to find good even in things that tend to look bad. A negative person will see a hole in a doughnut; a positive person will see only the doughnut whereas an intelligent person who has a holistic approach will see the whole doughnut and the hole. The intelligent approach will ultimately bring growth in you and propel you ahead in the path of success.

4. Be Grateful and Open
You should be grateful to the person who has taken his precious time to criticize you. Otherwise, who in this world has that much time to look at your work? He should be appreciated for his efforts and time. So thank the person as he has given an opportunity for you to correct your weaknesses and improve on your shortcomings. He is actually trying to help you. Even if the criticism seems unjust to you; still be grateful. Remember: no one can gets away from criticism, not even the greatest souls.

If you accept criticism constructively and with gratefulness, the critic who may have been harsh on you will soften next time. And remember the acceptance has to be sincere and it should come out from you genuinely. You shouldn’t play the phony game of simply pleasing a critic. Make a habit of being grateful even to those who have presented you with negative criticism. Unconsciously they are still helping you in your growth. So adopt the tactic of being open to criticism.

5. Implement criticism wisely
Don’t just assume all criticism is bad. Learn something from them and implement it in a constructive way. Observe the criticism closely and proceed with the ones that are useful. Do not shun criticism immediately; seek for the hidden gem in it, and use it intelligently. Also do not forget where the criticism is coming from. If the person who is criticizing you is helpful and means good then you should be thankful to him. Forgive the one who are criticizing you out of jealousy, anger, or ignorance. This will make you feel much better about yourself while handling criticism.

6. Accept with joy and compassion
As I have stressed throughout the article, your initial response to the criticism may be to be defensive – but that’s not a human nature, it’s simply a habit that you have learned from your parents, relatives, society… So, don’t think that if you do not react then you would be considered as incompetent, timid and then ridiculed upon; it’s again the trick of ego and your poor self-esteem trying to find a respectable place among the crowd. Don’t follow the crowd or your egoistic mind; listen to your heart. The crowd and your egoistic mind are bent on leading you to a ditch. Don’t let them be your master.

Your inability to accept criticism with joy, grace and openness speaks about your poor self-esteem, and trust me this could be a big factor in determining the success in your life. Moreover, it can be an obstruction that could impede your performance at your job, your accomplishments in life, your creativity and productivity, and ultimately in your personal and spiritual growth.
Thus, accept criticism with joy and grace. Do not degrade yourself by lashing your criticizer back. Like I said earlier, do not go and bite the dog, if it has bitten you. Don’t lower yourself to that level.

Turn every criticism into a productive opportunity to do things better. Be grateful to your critics as they have shown you your weaknesses and have provided you with a chance to improve and succeed. If you can remain cool and calm, and watch the urge to attack the critic who spoke negatively about you or your work then it can bring some amazing growth in you. This deep acceptance, this openness to any sort of criticism will fill your whole being with joy and love.
And, instantly you will start feeling compassionate to people who have criticized you unjustly. You will start looking at them differently. May be they were having a bad day. May be they are miserable inside. May be they are suffering from their lack of self-esteem, and thus criticizing others will make them feel better about themselves while giving them a sense of pleasure and deep satisfaction.

Let them criticize you, but you should not stop showering your compassion upon them. Even a stone can be melted with love and compassion, and remember they are only humans.
Final Words
So, there you have all the benefits of accepting criticism with joy, compassion, and openness. Let me sum up all again:

Accepting with joy means that you are thankful to your critic for noticing your work, and putting an effort in providing valuable feedback. You should thus accept any kind of criticism with joy and happiness; not with grudge or complaint.

Accepting with openness means that you have opened your heart and mind to any kind of criticism, and you posses an immense courage to do so. You are no more afraid to take criticism even if it is hurtful or derogatory. You have seen the hidden beauty in it and you learn something valuable out of it.

Accepting with compassion means that even if the criticism is unjust and meant to hurt you; you still are compassionate to your critic. Why – criticism do not hurt your ego or self-esteem anymore. Also, you are aware that that criticism is the result of critic’s unconscious, jealous or ignorant mind. Let the person criticize you unjustly hundred times; still, you accept with tremendous courage and compassion.

Well, if you can utilize these suggestions and apply properly then it could bring a huge impact in your life and may boost your creativity and productivity levels. Yes, criticism can easily hurt your ego and self-esteem; however, if implemented rightly, it can benefit us in many ways while bringing growth and transformation in our lives.

5 Ways to Stop Complaining and Criticizing Unnecessarily

5 Ways to Stop Complaining and Criticizing Unnecessarily

Who does not like to grudge, grouch, complain, and criticize? Who hasn’t done it – almost everyone living in every nook and corner of this world does it. And yes, we all are aware of the fact that it’s not good to complain or criticize unnecessarily, still we tend to do so. What is it that’s so addicting and hypnotizing about complaining and criticizing that we never seem to learn a lesson, and keep on doing so repeatedly? What is the psychology behind it? This article will endeavor in answering these questions and offer 5 key solutions.

The Gratification of Ego
Human beings have suffered tremendously in the whole history just because of one thing, and it’s their egos. And the most frustrating thing is that there is no physical existence of ego. Science hasn’t been able to prove it, but we cannot deny its existence and its implications on our lives. It’s there somewhere in our minds, and has been haunting us forever.

Mind creates ego and we create mind. Mind is already a big problem according to the mystics and enlightened souls; and in addition if one has an egoistic mind then the matter is more serious. If mind alone causes so much trouble then the mind filled with ego can cause havoc in one’s life. And instead of kicking ego out of our minds, we offer a comfortable and cozy space for our egos to grow and flourish.


One of the psychologies for our constant complaining is that we all achieve a great satisfaction while doing so. It gives us immense pleasure. And, it’s quite easy to complain. For example, I was not able to finish off my assignment today because Mr. Y showed up late in the office. I couldn’t pass my test because I didn’t have any time to study. There are always excuses and we are always complaining about things. A poor man complains of not having enough money, and a rich man complains of not having more money. A bachelor complains wishing he was married and the married man complains wishing that he was dead. Nobody is ever content with their life.

It’s has become human nature to complain about anything whatsoever. It seems that we all like to complain. Everybody is ahead in this mad race of complaining. Why – because it fulfills their ego and it veers them away from their responsibilities. That’s right, we are scared of our own responsibilities and we always find some easy way to complain about our inabilities. This only proves our laziness, incompetent mind, and stupidity. Yes, everybody is looking for free lunch and do not want to work for it. And, if they can’t achieve then they start complaining about others, the government, God, society, pretty much everything.

Haven’t we all read that story of a fox who tries all it can to get the grapes, and in the end, he gives up saying that grapes are sour. The fox could have just walked away simply appreciating its constant efforts, but no, it has to complain.

Likewise, we do the same thing as the fox. If we cannot achieve certain things that we have always wanted then we start complaining and criticizing others. Instead of dissecting the reasons behind our failures, we easily get off the hook, by simply blaming others. Why can’t we simply accept things the way they are and move forward in life? Why cannot we accept life in its totality? Please read How to Live Life in its Totality? as it encompasses this topic in detail.

Like I said earlier, it’s easy to complain and criticize as it solves all our problems, in a quick and easy way. It does but temporarily; in fact, we are simply deceiving ourselves by doing so. We are simply consoling and making us feel better about ourselves.

And once we are done with complaining, we start criticizing as it provides us with a feeling of utmost satisfaction. Our whole being pervades with a tinge of happiness when we do so. It makes us feel good about ourselves. It places us in a superior position than the others. People shower us with the words of praise and appreciation because we can criticize things so well. And, we enjoy such attention. This is how our egos are being strengthened more and more. And, we love being the center of attraction. We love when people are attentive to us and when they listen to us. Even though we know that most of the time the criticism is stemming from our jealous mind.
And we have already mastered the skills of criticizing as well. Sometimes we hurl negative criticisms and sometimes we simply fake it by offering positive criticisms, because rarely we find someone who criticizes out of love and compassion.

In this fast paced world, when everyone is trying to thrive in cut throat competition and where dog eat dog mentality reigns among people, who is seriously interested in offering honest criticism? Who has time to praise you for your hard work and efforts? Who wants to help you grow and be successful? And, everybody is scared and jealous – if everybody starts becoming successful then what would happen to them? So people are just worried about themselves and all they care about is the fulfillment of their own egos, and that’s it. Because, it’s easy to criticize on about anything… For instance, one might say, “God has made us so beautiful.” Immediately, you can come back with something, and say, “What’s so beautiful? Look, we are all suffering. And, where is God in the first hand? Can you prove it to me?” Somebody might start talking about love and beauty. Then you can again criticize, by saying, “What are you talking about? What is love? Where is beauty? Can you bring beauty to me? Can you show what love is?” And some might say that, “God exists in everybody’s heart.” Again, you can argue back by saying, “Can you prove it to me? No surgeon has ever seen God inside anybody’s heart ever.” See, how easy it is to criticize and complain. You can be negative about everything that exists in the existence. You can have a negative outlook on almost anything. For this, you don’t need to be smart or intelligent. Anybody can do it. But, again this kind of approach is not going to fulfill the ultimate goal or purpose of your life. This kind of attitude will never quench the thirst of your inner being. This bragging, this senseless arguments and criticisms about everything will eventually crimp the significant growth inside you. One day, you will come to an understanding that in a pretentious game of gratifying your ego, you have auctioned the inner beauty of your soul. So Be Aware, next time when you are offering criticism to others. Is the criticism coming from your heart or it’s simply nurturing your own ego. Meditate upon it and then only criticize others.
So What to Do? How Not to Complain and Criticize?


Let me offer you some of my suggestions:
1. Deep Acceptance
First you need to accept yourself just the way you are then only you can accept others. Otherwise, you will always be complaining about others and their habits. As I have been saying it’s quite easy to complain and criticize. Any idiot can do so. In fact, people who complain and criticize for no valid reasons even though they try to come up with logical and rational reasons are idiots, in any case. They are simply trying to be wise. But, they know inside their own self worth. Hence, only when you learn to accept others the way they are without judgments of any kind then your complaining will vanish by itself. Just don’t jump to conclusions or judgment about others without knowing them. You might only know a few things about Mr. X but you do not know everything about him and his life. Thus don’t judge by the appearance or by your fragmentary knowledge, try to learn more about the person. Once you cultivate this habit of deep acceptance, instantly you will find joy and friendliness pervading your inner being.

2. Accept Responsibilities
This is also one reason why people complain – because they are afraid to accept their share of responsibilities in life. Hence, they fabricate all the excuses in the whole wide world to complain about. And, we learn this game in childhood. I remember as a kid whenever I didn’t want to go to school, I always had a headache, stomachache, toothache, hair ache, and so on… Once you grow up, you get more refined and smart in knitting excuses and complaining. For example, I couldn’t show up to work, because my wife is sick. I cannot come to work tomorrow because my car broke down. Let me give you another example from my own life. For a long time, I used to complain about my international status for not being able to accomplish things that I have aspired to be in life. I used to say, I wish I was born here in America. I wish my English was better. Blah! Blah! Blah!

These complains are just an easy way to escape from our responsibilities and get off the hook. Hence, stop complaining and be responsible for your actions. The Existence has given us everything, all we need is to look around and be grateful on what we have. Trust me, we have everything we need; we just need to have eyes to see in such a way.

3. Drop Your Ego
Earlier in the article, I mentioned that almost everybody complains and criticizes. However, there are only a few people who don’t do so. Only those rare ones who have arrived to a supreme understanding and have managed to completely drop their egos. I am not saying that you have to be enlightened for this; however, if you realize that it is not you, it’s your ego, which is the root of all problems then you will also stop complaining and criticizing unintelligently. Instead of dropping the ego, we nurture and nourish it, and make it bigger and stronger. This is why we find faults in everybody or everything around us. Hence, the key is to drop the ego, and have a different outlook on things. Again let me reiterate, the key to drop ego is a complete understanding – the understanding that it is our ego, which is impeding our growth and blocking our viewpoints on seeing things the right way. Only when the wall of ego that has surrounded our world is brought down then we will adopt a new viewpoint on life, people and the things around us.

4. Compassion
Once, you follow the above two steps then without any doubt compassion will flow by itself and soak your entire being. Deep acceptance and dropping of ego will give you a new direction and will shower your vision with a new light. Now, you may see things completely different than you used to. Now, your heart is filled with compassion, love and friendliness. So all you can offer is what you have. The same person or the same circumstances that you used to complain and criticize against may seem different now. Since your vision has changed, your way of looking at things has also changed. Instead of being harsh, antagonistic and too critical, now you would like to help, motivate, and inspire the person that you used to criticize. Now, you have been transformed, and for better. Now, you don’t see any point in complaining or criticizing. You have realized, what’s the use of poking your nose into somebody else’s business. Before, you were simply satisfying your ego, now your ego has disappeared; hence, you will see the futility of senseless complaining and criticizing.

5. Put Yourself in The Same Situation as The Others and Be Creative
Many people complain and criticize for no reason at all. After having done so for a long time, now it has become their habits. Some people complain as they have nothing better going on their lives. They are so miserable inside that they have to find some way to bring it to the surface. And, they always find people who seem weak and vulnerable to exercise their power upon. You probably have experienced such instances in your day-to-day life, for example, at the workplace, gas station, grocery store, mall, restaurant, parking booth etc. People vent off their anger to the people who are working in such places without thinking. This is all because they are being haunted by the ghost of their low self esteem, and again this is their only chance to feel superior about themselves. These people are suffering from incompetency and inferior complexity – that they have to seek some poor, innocent and vulnerable to prove how better they are.

The cure is to put yourself in their shoes and seek reasons why you are doing so. How would you feel if people behave you the way you did? Won’t you be hurt? Do you think it is appropriate and nice of you to do so? You don’t have to seek for answers far ahead; they will be afloat in your eyes soaked in your tears.

My other suggestion would be to find some time to be creative. Yes, immerse yourself in anything that you are passionate about. Once you are productive and creative then you don’t have to adopt the quick and cheapest way such as to complain or criticize others to feel better about. You are so engrossed and intoxicated in your work that you won’t bother about complaining. Have you seen a poet complaining when he is so immersed creating poetry in the beatitude of nature? I haven’t heard any poet saying, “I wish the wind was blowing south, or the sun had set a little later.”

Conclusion
I am not saying that all criticism is bad and that we should not criticize at all. Please do not be mistaken. All I am suggesting is to be conscious of your criticism. Do not just criticize or complain without knowing anything. You should first have a deep understanding of the subject. Do your homework first and then start criticizing. It’s easy to be a critic, but to be a good one, it’s quite difficult. For instance, there are thousands of movie critics, but there is only one Pauline Kael. She has a well rounded and deep knowledge in her field, and she knows what she is doing. Hence, my emphasis is: You should dedicate your time and energy first and then only you should criticize. Your criticism should be honest and humble. It shouldn’t stem from your unawareness, idiocy, and egoistic mind. Your criticism should always help the others grow.
Add some compassion, some love, some friendliness, and some intelligence in your critique. Blend all together and serve it. Certainly, it will yield a growth and motivation among us.
Meditate upon the above points and who knows you might arrive to a stage, when you may not even need to criticize anymore. By then, you will start accepting things in its totality. For instance, you might see the beauty in both the rose flower and its thorns. You might start appreciating the beauty of life in its totality.

Once you move up to such a level of intelligence and understanding then complaining and criticizing will disappear by itself, and you might be able to communicate even through your silence. You may not even need words.

In the end, I would like to emphasize on one more thing: Just remember that the whole psychology behind the game of criticizing and complaining is simply the path that you have taken to make yourself better, higher and more knowledgeable than the others. You are just enforcing others to acknowledge that you know and have more information than them; hence you are special and deserve respect or attention. This is nothing but simply your ignorance. It is simply you gratifying, helping and strengthening your own ego. You are simply taking this aggressive approach just to prove that you are wise and intelligent. Nonetheless this negative outtake won’t take you far in your path towards inner wisdom