The Joy of Being Realistic

The Joy of Being Realistic
Written by Naren

There are many people who have either positive or negative approaches in life, but how many of them are realistic? Realistic means to look at things as they “really” are.

• Do you look at things as they are?
• Do you only look at the positive side or only the negative side?
• Are your thoughts influenced by positive thinking or by negative thinking?

Let me start by sharing my thoughts:

Italian Neo Realism

After having read my articles you might have already presumed that I have a great passion for movies. In college I used to spend most of my time in the library engrossing myself in film books, than in the classes. As I was learning about films and filmmakers, I came across The Bicycle Thief, directed by one of my favorite directors, Vittoria De Sica. This film made in 1948 has made an indelible impact in my life. The film is an example of Italian Neo realism in the history of cinema. Films which belong to this movement were shot mostly in locations, with non-actors in the lead role, financed in a shoe-string budget, and typically featured the story of the working class family.

The Bicycle Thief is one great example of the realistic cinema. The protagonist needs a job to support his family, but jobs are scarce. He finds one, which requires a bicycle. He manages to buy one by pawning the family’s bed sheets. Unfortunately the bicycle is stolen on the first day of his work. Heartbroken, the protagonist, with the help of his young son, tirelessly and desperately searches for the bicycle all day, but with no success. Tired, frustrated and scared the protagonist steals a bicycle in the end, gets caught, and is beaten by the mad crowd in front of his son. Embarrassed he could not look into his son’s eyes. The film ends showing father and son walking along the way with their future lying in uncertainty.

This film renders universal emotions in a simple way, paints the grim picture of reality, and translates the story on the screen as it is, maintaining its universally comprehensible theme. It does not force on the viewer a message like “Oh! You have to be positive and good things will come along the way. Don’t think of negative, be always positive.” The story is a depiction of a sharp and poignant reality of the struggling family, the most profound portrayal of father and son relationship, and thus stands out as one of the best films of all time.

Positive Thinking -- A Sweet Candy

Those who say that you have to be positive are simply giving us false consolations and hopes. They are simply deceiving us. I am not into hope, I am into reality.

You can keep on hoping to build a castle in the air and stay positive, but do you think your positive thinking will produce the outcome you are hoping for.

Absolutely not! These are false dreams. You can keep on thinking about being as rich as Warren Buffet or Bill Gates and be positive about it, but do you think you will be rich as they are just by thinking positively.

Positive thinking is just like handing candy to a weeping child. When you give him a sweet candy, he will stop crying for the moment and then when it’s finished he will start crying again. How long can you keep on giving the child sweet candies? The very notion that: You have to be positive whatsoever happens to you, is wrong. And, by thinking positively do you think it will solve your problems. Do you think your miseries will disappear into thin air right away? Do you think by denying the negative, the negative will not be there. NO. By being positive, you are simply attempting to hide the negative. You are just being evasive and not acknowledging the other half of the truth.

Hence, we have to understand that, positive thinking is just one way of looking at things.

Similarly, negative thinking is the other way of looking at things. It is as wrong as positive thinking. I am not for or against either side. To me, both positive and negative are equally important as they comprise the whole. Just like every coin has two sides, there is day and night, there is life and death, there is joy and pain, there is beauty and ugliness –all of these things are complimentary to each other. This is the truth and this is the reality. Reality cannot be changed. A lie changes, but truth always remains the same. This is the way the Existence has planned things. There is nothing we can do about it. We just have to accept it. Total acceptance leads to understanding.

Final Thoughts

Have you ever seen the beauty of reality? Have you ever realized the joy of seeing things as they are in their whole or totality, instead of looking at only one side? There is so much joy in adopting a realistic approach in life – neither being positive nor negative – just accepting the way things are with grace and love. If you start practicing this holistic attitude from now onwards, you will see the result. You will be astounded to see how both positive and negative support and are interdependent to each other.

Let me conclude with one example: The lotus is a beautiful flower that blooms out of the mud. This is the positive way of seeing it. But, if there wasn’t mud for the lotus flower in which to grow, then it wouldn’t look so beautiful. This is being realistic, looking at both the mud and the lotus flower.