How to Accept Criticism with Joy, Compassion, and Openness?

Whenever the word “criticism” is mentioned, it seems to invoke a negative image in our mind. Most of us tend to take it as an insult, discouraging, or offensive, and are unable to handle it easily. And yes, criticism can make a person nervous, mad, and defensive. I have seen people getting offended quite easily and quickly when they hear words of criticism about them. Even a person of high status and considered to be noble, humble, and respectable gets angry when he is being criticized. This has made me to ponder why we cannot accept criticism with an open mind, grace, and joy? Why are we so sensitive about criticism and why do we allow it to affect us in our work, relationship, and productivity?

In this article I am not giving you any tips to face criticism and make your life better. The very word “face” renders a vibe of negativity to me. So I won’t be revealing any secrets on facing criticism. There may be hundreds of articles written on “how to face or deal with criticism” – but this article is not going to lead you to astray from the beginning and make you grope in the darkness; instead it will endeavor in sparking a true, total, and meaningful understanding of criticism.

When we say “how to face or deal criticism” then it implies criticism to be awful, difficult, problematic or troublesome. Criticism in fact is a boon, a beauty, a benediction if we delve deep into it and dissect its psychology.

This article is all about accepting and understanding the true facets of criticism. Let’s not be negative right from the beginning. Let’s be realistic while we approach this topic then only we will be able to understand criticism wholly and enjoy the beauty it can bring to our lives.
here I am with my list on how to accept criticism with joy, compassion and openness.

1. Understand Criticism
First of all, what is criticism? Criticism simply means to analyze, judge, evaluate, investigate, observe etc. However, it has taken a different meaning now, and it is being understood mostly as a means of negative expression. And, yes criticism is viewed in both ways like we view almost everything in world – negative and positive. Let’s drop this concept of negativity and positivity, and proceed with a different notion. Let me put it this way instead – constructive and destructive. The first type can motivate you while the other can demoralize you in your creativity and productivity. And we don’t want that. We don’t want our hard work and aspirations shattered by remarks made by some ignorant and unconscious people.

So it’s really important to understand the source from which the criticism is stemming. Is it coming from jealousy, anger, ignorance, or some unconscious mind? Most of the time people who make negative comments or unjust criticism to another person are people who have a poor self-esteem, and can’t bear to see others climbing the ladder of success. These people are very miserable and unsuccessful in their lives, they have nothing better going on, so they will make hurtful remarks targeting innocent people. Don’t let these people succeed in their mission. Don’t let their unjust criticism enter your conscience. These people will do anything to pull your leg, so be very careful and do not let their insults or remarks impede your path to success. Let their hurls go through one ear and let them out from the other. That would be the best thing to do.

2. Act, Don’t React
It’s easy to say to be cool and calm while somebody is lashing you with insults after insults especially in public. And when the criticism comes while you are with your wife, partner or girlfriend then it would be absolutely intolerable. What to do then? Would you follow this advice: “If someone slaps your one cheek, show your next cheek?” I guess it depends on you.
Well, in my opinion there are two things you can do. Either you can lash back or just keep it cool, take a deep breath, and ignore the critic. When you encroach animal’s territory then they become defensive. It’s natural for them. But, humans have intelligence which allows them to either act or react according to the situation. If you react by being defensive and not thinking then the result could bring negative consequences. There have been many cases where people have done huge crimes in a split of a second of mindless reacting.

However, if you simply accept criticism without reacting, it would embarrass your critic eventually –anyway how long can he go on yelling at you when you do nothing, and remain silent. This act of yours will make the person criticizing you unjustly realize his behaviors. But, if you react and try to get back at him, then it would irritate him more and it could lead to some serious damage.

Like I said earlier, it’s easy to tell somebody to remain cool but it is difficult to implement it when the situation demands. But, again it’s something that we should learn to do. As mentioned in the first sutra, watch the source of criticism. Make sure, if it’s even worth arguing back with the person who is criticizing you. If the person is simply trying to hurt you then don’t even bother about such criticism. Moreover, don’t squander your energy trying to respond to that person as a defense. Simply let it go. Be smart while choosing your enemy. Is the person even worth being your enemy? let me reinforce this with one famous eastern proverb, “If a dog bites you, don’t bite the dog back.”

Therefore, it’s advisable to always watch your reactions. Take a deep breath as it always helps in any circumstance. Give yourself some time to evaluate the criticism and its source, and act properly. Do not react instantly without thinking. Remember it’s better to be quiet for a moment than repent later for your thoughtless actions. Just try to relax, watch your thoughts, and watch your breath as well. This will help your blood cool down.

3. Drop the negative outlook
Drop the negative outlook on criticism and adopt an intelligent one. That means do not take all criticism as negative and bad for you. Take it with a full spirit and joy. Do not run away from them. Remember: even the greatest people are criticized. For instance, Bhagwan Buddha was criticized and condemned heavily. Jesus also had to face the same kind of treatment from people. At the end, he was crucified. Socrates was also poisoned by his own people. So no one can escape criticism. The only way you can hide from criticism is if you lock yourself inside the four walls of your house and simply do nothing. But then what life would it be if you cannot be in the world and enjoy its beauty. Hence, gather courage and accept criticism with joy and grace.

Try turning the criticism that you may view as negative into a constructive one. Criticism is subjective. It’s simply the way people look at it. For example, some critics may not like Mr. X’s movie and give it a bad review. Now, to Mr. X. the review is negative and harmful for his career and movie, but for his competitors the criticism would prove to be a boon, and they would take it as positive. But again Mr. X can use this criticism and implement it in his growth, instead of pining over his loss...

So it all depends on your point of view. Do not be discouraged by criticism that seems negative or demoralizing. In truth, it can be very helpful to motivate you and your work towards your goal. Criticism actually serves as compliment most of the times if you view it that way. May be the person has always aspired to be successful like you and is simply jealous.

And, also if you drop the negative outlook and comprehend things intelligently then you will always find something encouraging in any kind of criticism. This kind of approach will inspire you to find good even in things that tend to look bad. A negative person will see a hole in a doughnut; a positive person will see only the doughnut whereas an intelligent person who has a holistic approach will see the whole doughnut and the hole. The intelligent approach will ultimately bring growth in you and propel you ahead in the path of success.

4. Be Grateful and Open
You should be grateful to the person who has taken his precious time to criticize you. Otherwise, who in this world has that much time to look at your work? He should be appreciated for his efforts and time. So thank the person as he has given an opportunity for you to correct your weaknesses and improve on your shortcomings. He is actually trying to help you. Even if the criticism seems unjust to you; still be grateful. Remember: no one can gets away from criticism, not even the greatest souls.

If you accept criticism constructively and with gratefulness, the critic who may have been harsh on you will soften next time. And remember the acceptance has to be sincere and it should come out from you genuinely. You shouldn’t play the phony game of simply pleasing a critic. Make a habit of being grateful even to those who have presented you with negative criticism. Unconsciously they are still helping you in your growth. So adopt the tactic of being open to criticism.

5. Implement criticism wisely
Don’t just assume all criticism is bad. Learn something from them and implement it in a constructive way. Observe the criticism closely and proceed with the ones that are useful. Do not shun criticism immediately; seek for the hidden gem in it, and use it intelligently. Also do not forget where the criticism is coming from. If the person who is criticizing you is helpful and means good then you should be thankful to him. Forgive the one who are criticizing you out of jealousy, anger, or ignorance. This will make you feel much better about yourself while handling criticism.

6. Accept with joy and compassion
As I have stressed throughout the article, your initial response to the criticism may be to be defensive – but that’s not a human nature, it’s simply a habit that you have learned from your parents, relatives, society… So, don’t think that if you do not react then you would be considered as incompetent, timid and then ridiculed upon; it’s again the trick of ego and your poor self-esteem trying to find a respectable place among the crowd. Don’t follow the crowd or your egoistic mind; listen to your heart. The crowd and your egoistic mind are bent on leading you to a ditch. Don’t let them be your master.

Your inability to accept criticism with joy, grace and openness speaks about your poor self-esteem, and trust me this could be a big factor in determining the success in your life. Moreover, it can be an obstruction that could impede your performance at your job, your accomplishments in life, your creativity and productivity, and ultimately in your personal and spiritual growth.
Thus, accept criticism with joy and grace. Do not degrade yourself by lashing your criticizer back. Like I said earlier, do not go and bite the dog, if it has bitten you. Don’t lower yourself to that level.

Turn every criticism into a productive opportunity to do things better. Be grateful to your critics as they have shown you your weaknesses and have provided you with a chance to improve and succeed. If you can remain cool and calm, and watch the urge to attack the critic who spoke negatively about you or your work then it can bring some amazing growth in you. This deep acceptance, this openness to any sort of criticism will fill your whole being with joy and love.
And, instantly you will start feeling compassionate to people who have criticized you unjustly. You will start looking at them differently. May be they were having a bad day. May be they are miserable inside. May be they are suffering from their lack of self-esteem, and thus criticizing others will make them feel better about themselves while giving them a sense of pleasure and deep satisfaction.

Let them criticize you, but you should not stop showering your compassion upon them. Even a stone can be melted with love and compassion, and remember they are only humans.
Final Words
So, there you have all the benefits of accepting criticism with joy, compassion, and openness. Let me sum up all again:

Accepting with joy means that you are thankful to your critic for noticing your work, and putting an effort in providing valuable feedback. You should thus accept any kind of criticism with joy and happiness; not with grudge or complaint.

Accepting with openness means that you have opened your heart and mind to any kind of criticism, and you posses an immense courage to do so. You are no more afraid to take criticism even if it is hurtful or derogatory. You have seen the hidden beauty in it and you learn something valuable out of it.

Accepting with compassion means that even if the criticism is unjust and meant to hurt you; you still are compassionate to your critic. Why – criticism do not hurt your ego or self-esteem anymore. Also, you are aware that that criticism is the result of critic’s unconscious, jealous or ignorant mind. Let the person criticize you unjustly hundred times; still, you accept with tremendous courage and compassion.

Well, if you can utilize these suggestions and apply properly then it could bring a huge impact in your life and may boost your creativity and productivity levels. Yes, criticism can easily hurt your ego and self-esteem; however, if implemented rightly, it can benefit us in many ways while bringing growth and transformation in our lives.