Who doesn’t go through an occasional feeling that life is meaningless and empty, and living is totally worthless? My certainty is coming from my own experiences, and I know it’s tough especially when things are not going according the way you have always wanted. Feelings as mentioned above are bound to well up as you have always given a path to high hopes and then suddenly you realize that life is not as simple as you may have thought. The pangs of reality, inability to attain desired things, and the struggle to survive can easily wear down your motivation and spirit, and leave you completely hopeless and frustrated. Why does life seem meaningless, empty, and worthless? What are the reasons behind such feelings? Is there a way to cope with such feelings and find meaning and fulfillment in life again?
In this article, I will be answering the above questions to my best.
Desire
The number one reason why life seems so empty, meaningless and purposeless is our desire itself. The very desire of wanting more, asking more, and craving for more is the main culprit behind all our despairs and anxieties. This is a truth and cannot be denied or overlooked, and one has to acknowledge it. You may have a nice job and be living comfortably, or you may be struggling to get nice job, but your mind is not content. It is constantly nagging and asking for more. No matter how much you have, it does not really matter, the only thing that truly matters is that you ought to have more in life to fill up the void that you have inside. Honestly, your desiring for more is creating more void and emptiness inside you. Because -- unless and until you drop your desire, your inner being will never be full. It’s like filling water in bucket with a hole. You can keep filling it, but do you think it will ever be full. No, certainly not. Similarly, by asking for more, your wish will never be fulfilled, and emptiness is bound to reign in your heart. Why? Because, emptiness is an outcome of desiring too much. Stop unnecessary desiring and you will find no trace of emptiness. It will disappear like a shadow. Emptiness was simply following you because you were making more and more demands. And once you come to realize this, there will be no emptiness. On the firsthand, there was never emptiness in you; it seemed real only when you were caught up in your own obsession of desiring more than you need in life.
High expectations, big dreams and unquenchable hopes! The price you pay is a life full of misery and sorrow. Let me provide my own example. I always desired to make movies. My dreams were big. Breaking into Hollywood, gaining name, fame and money, and winning an Oscar was my desire. There were times when I couldn’t sleep a wink at night. I even used to dream about a speech that I would give after winning an Oscar. See, why I wouldn’t be miserable then. I am not saying it is not possible for me achieve what I wanted but dreaming night and day about it and getting obsessed is not healthy. I am not implying that you shouldn’t have a goal or passion in life. You should, but look from a realistic point of view to see if your dream is viable.
But look at today’s society. People have become neurotic. In a mad race of hoarding more and more, people have burdened themselves with high expectations, and big dreams that haunt their moment of happiness throughout their life. For instance: Mr. A just bought a Toyota Camry, I should get a BMW. Mrs. Y walks off, flashing her big diamond ring sending a fire in Mrs. Z’s heart. Now, Mrs. Z will pester her husband for a bigger ring than Mrs. Y’s. Comparison of any sort is not good whatsoever. Comparing will give rise to unnecessary competition and encourage jealousy. And that’s why people are so miserable. Why can’t we be just alone and be happy with whatsoever we have. But see that’s the most difficult thing to do. If we all are content with what we have already then there won’t be a desire of wanting more. But, our mind won’t let us do that, it has to keep us under its control. It will keep on inventing desires, alluring us with golden dreams. And we easily fall into its trickery.
Desiring Success
This can also be deemed as an important reason that contributes to our feeling of life as meaningless and empty. Many of you may not agree with me, but that’s the point. I don’t want you to agree with me, because my intention is not to persuade or convince you. I don’t want you to follow me blindly. I want you to find your own eyes and look at things with clarity. Because, people have become lop-sided and they only look from their own perspective. They are so caught in the net of their ego that they have lost the ability to view things clearly and intelligently.
Now, what is a success? How do you define it? Success to me is subjective. My view on success can be totally different than yours. For some people success could be to become wealthy and prosperous. For others it might be power, prestige, happiness, contentment, a peaceful life, and family, or mastery into meditation, yoga or to attain enlightenment. Some want to excel in the inner world and some want to succeed in the material world. But, how can desiring success shove you into the world of misery and frustrations? As I have been reiterating, desiring as a whole is the main cause. Either you desire success, money, enlightenment, anything. Desire itself can be a barrier. Desire is a wall that’s hindering your growth. Enlightened masters like Buddha, Lao Tzu, Bhagwan Rajneesh have said even desiring desirelessness is a problem. Because with that also, desire is still there. Now, aspiring for success also gives rise to many problems. It will propel cut-throat competition, and selfishness, jealousy and deception. How many successful people in this world have taken the moral path?
In a spiritual world, desire has to be totally dropped. While, in the material world, what would you do without desire, passion, goal, or that hunger to be successful and achieve all that you have always wanted in life? Yes, all the comforts, a dream -- less work, more money, and that so called, “Think Rich” mentality. You need a goal. A strong goal that will give a direction to your life. Otherwise you will wander and wonder all around. In fact, this wondering and wandering of yours is your seeking of an inner peace and contentment, but how many of us know this. Do you think all rich and successful people are happy and content? Do you think their success is soaked in fulfillment? Why are these successful Hollywood stars, celebrities, rock stars are so miserable that they fall into drugs and alcohol? Aren’t they successful, but then why aren’t they fulfilled? Why aren’t they happy in life? What makes them so miserable despite having all the comforts and luxuries that they could ever imagine or dream of? Their dreams have been fulfilled yet misery eclipses their lives. Why? Because, success without fulfillment is worthless and ultimately makes you feel that life is meaningless and empty.
Fear of Failure
Now, with success, lurks a feeling of failure as well. Many people are afraid of failure. On one hand they desire success and the other hand they are afraid of failures. This fear can eat your soul as you desire too much to climb to the highest rung of the ladder of success. You want to attain success, so badly that it would steal the peace of your mind day and night and if you cannot achieve it, there is frustration and failure. Then you would start thinking life as meaningless and empty. You tried so hard. You worked with diligence, passion, dedication, you took moral paths, and you didn’t budge from honesty and integrity, yet you couldn’t taste the fruit of success. You have failed miserably. What to do? Is it your destiny or fate? (Please read The Fallacy of Fate. I have talked more on this topic). Or, is life simply meaningless and empty? Obviously, if the question arises in your mind then why go on living? You had a goal, a dream, a passion, and look what happened. All went in down the drain. Some might say life is such a bitch, a nightmare. You just wanted to have a comfortable living, and you couldn’t get it. Your goal, your intention, your motive was pure and came from a truthful heart; still, you couldn’t get it. While other people who have cheated and taken the immoral route have prospered, thrived and succeeded. Then undoubtedly you will start thinking life as meaningless, empty, and purposeless.
What can be done? What should be done then?
There is a secret -- a simple one, and it is to drop your desires, whatsoever. To say, drop your desire is easy but to implement it into a reality is a difficult task. Following is a list that will help you do so:
1. Deep Understanding: An understanding releases your intelligence. An understanding that desiring more, hankering for more, hoarding more, demanding more are all leading you to frustrations as all the expectations cannot be fulfilled. Nobody has forced you to become miserable. It’s your own choice. The more you desire then the more you are missing of life. We already have so much, yet we are not satisfied. Our forefathers used to travel on foot, and now we can fly all over the world in a day. Advanced technologies, inventions and discoveries in science have given humanity all they wanted. It has given more hopes, meaning more misery. No wonder why we think life is meaningless and empty. The inner thirst cannot be fulfilled by outer materials. But it takes a long time for a man to arrive to this understanding. All his life, he keeps on desiring to possess more. Yes, advances in science and technology have provided more power, more safety, more comfort and luxury than ever, but it has also pushed humanity into deeper misery; because man’s desire has no limits. Remember: The very nature of desire is to remain unfulfilled.
2. Witness your desires: When desire is dropped, there will be no urgency to achieve it, and hence no misery and no emptiness. You just cannot drop desires that you have accumulated for so long. You have invested so much hope, emotion, time and passion in collecting this junk. It would be painful. Surely you would be offended, if somebody walks by you and says: “Just drop your desires. You would be just fine.” It’s not as easy as it sounds. But, you have to make a decision sooner or later. And trust me; you will awaken to this realization. It may take quite a time, but you will arrive to your awareness. Master Gurdjieff used to say ‘self-remembering,” yes, you will remember all that you have forgotten that life is full of beauty and significance, not full of anxiety and anguish. But there is a way to drop desires that have been building your whole life. It is by simply watching the desires that arise on your mind, and being a complete non-doer. Gradually this process of witnessing and watching will lead you to deep fulfillment. You will then fully understand the futility of desires and the disease of wanting more.
3. Give and share: Instead of wasting of life, running here and there in circles, turning your life into a tale of misery and woe, why don’t you start giving and sharing? Just give for the sheer joy of giving. Just share for the sheer joy of sharing. When desiring disappears, your whole being will be filled with so much bliss that you cannot contain the surge of contentment inside and you will start sharing them. You will have no control, sharing and giving will occur on its own when you are so full within. It’s like a flower which has just blossomed. It cannot hold its fragrance anymore. It does not matter who is passing by, but the flower will keep on giving its fragrance all around and to everyone unconditionally. The flower won’t make any distinction whether the passerby is a friend or stranger. Its fragrance is for everyone who is receptive and open. This happens only when you are full of contentment.
4. Watch your emptiness: People who keep on chasing dreams, money and power also suffer miserably inside. They may succeed in the outer world (I gave an example of many movie stars, celebrities, rock stars, politicians and more), but they remain empty, frustrated, and constantly pursuing happiness. To fill up their emptiness, they keep on collecting materials such as big cars, expensive jewelry, big houses, donating to charities and buying good virtue; but their lives meander in frustration and futility. No matter how hard you work to stuff your inner emptiness, it won’t be full. Because -- the whole approach is wrong. The right way is take a meditative path, that is, adopt the way of the meditators. Simply watch the inner emptiness without any desire to fill it up, but with a welcoming and truthful heart. The revelation would be miraculous. You would discover that your inner being is already so full – full of blissfulness, grace, beauty, ecstasy, love, and compassion. It’s a reservoir in itself, and you were stuffing it with mundane things. This revelation will become your liberation as well. This revelation will give you new eyes to look at things now. Before, you were looking things through your mind that was full of your desires. Now, you have tossed your mind and you have started seeing things differently. Now, life is not meaningless, empty, and purposeless, it is so full, that it is overflowing with bliss.
Final Words
There has always been meaning in life. Life is full of significance. But, your eyes are blinded with desire, and ego. Your behaviors are soaked with aggression because you are in a great hurry as you are afraid that your wishes may not be fulfilled. You want more -- that is aggression, you actions are influenced by subtle aggression. Be receptive instead of aggressive. Be a giver instead of greedy wisher. You looked outside. The thirst was inside yet you keep on looking outside. Thus, life seemed meaningless and empty. Let this sink deep into you that once you look inside yourself, the eyes that have missed outside will be amazed to find the source of bliss all within. You will find that life is full of meaning, beauty and grace. Then will you be presented to all the miracles that are offered by the existence. Now you have no desires to wish over, now you are just happy with yourself in whatsoever condition. And you will find meaning and fulfillment in life. Your life will have a direction. Your life will dance in an eternal bliss. Your life will be green again. It will bloom and blossom. There will be poetry, music and dance, and life becomes a moment-to-moment triumph and celebration.
No comments:
Post a Comment